Triggered Moments, Happy Birthday Caleb Joshua

Last year I went through a book that explained about triggers. You know when something happens that triggers a moment or a time of significance in your life, good or bad.

Sometimes the trigger can be something as small as a scent or a sound or sometimes something subconscious you don't even know what it was that triggerd that memory.

The other night, I noticed my cell phone was dead and I needed to make a call. I went to the kitchen to use the red thing that's been sitting on the counter since we moved in. You know what it was a ......land line phone. As I lifted the receiver, my mind was triggered by the last time I used that thing , about two and half years ago to call 911 when Caleb had his seizure and laid lifeless in my husbands arm.

I placed the receiver back and my mind just went for it. It replayed that afternoon as if I hit the rewind on the dvr. And then it was paused on a conversation we had with the doctors. Caleb had a febrile seizure, and chances of it happening again before he turned five were a lot greater than him not. So from that day the number 5 was embedded in my mind. 

Realizing that we are coming up on Caleb's fifth birthday, I just had one of those moments of reflection and gratitude mixed with emotions. When he turns five the chances of another febrile seizure drastically diminishes. On one hand that comforts me and on the other hand seen him mature into this little boy playing on the school yard makes me sad. I just feel like the last few years didn't come fast enough and then they came to quick. 


I crawled into bed and just thought about the years with my Caleb Joshua, he is such a strong boy in character yet so sensitive. He was the one we ended up in the hospital with a few times, and when he gets sick we always feel a little more cautious , but it has helped us to rely and trust in the Lord.

Luckily for Caleb I was having this moment when I heard the jiggle of puppy's collar as Caleb tried to crawl into our bed at midnight. Instead of telling him it was to early to go back to his own bed I had him pull up a pillow and he got into a little snuggle trouble.

Here is what you should know about Caleb. He is quite the communicator, the other day he said he "loved his school" and that "it was really working out for him" in his own words.

He does not take no for an answer. He will plead his case to the END. He loves all things Mickey, always has his puppy by his side even if he is just coming downstairs and loves chocolate chip cookies. He loves school, is a prayer warrior and smothers his little sister. He looks up to his brother and wants to do EVERYTHING Noah does. He appears to be tough, but he is a softy. He still cuddles with his mommy and way over protective. And if you are sitting or laying next to him chances are he has his leg or arm on you. And he pays way to much attention to the girls for a five year old. 

Our family is stronger, our house is louder, my heart feels fuller, and our love is deeper, because on this day five years ago the Lord allowed us to welcome Caleb Joshua to family. And I am grateful that two years ago the Lord had His hand upon you allowed us to spend more birthdays with you. Happy Birthday my baby boy, we love you a little less than Jesus, but surely

more than any one on this earth.

Love you forever, like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
Mommy

Asleep on the toilet and a Spartan Race

It's been awhile since I last blogged and it isn't from a lack on content, because having a newborn - now infant in the house has surely reminded me on how much more I need Jesus in my life.

Like last night for example, I thought I'd see the pearly gates of heaven when I fell asleep going potty in the middle of the night. Yup fo real, like sitting on the pot in a full on sleep. Only to wake up frantic in complete darkness wondering where the heck I was. When I went to get up, I hit the floor because my leg had fallen asleep which tells me I was sitting for awhile.

As I crawled back in bed I glanced over to my husband still snoring not affected by the little tremor of me hitting the floor and wondered how nice it would be to be a dad for a day or night. And all the moms said..... Amen

Well let's move on because this blog has little to do about my bathroom excursion and more about the power of prayer and the willingness not to give up.

Over a week ago my husband did his biggest obstacle course race. If the grueling 14 miles with 33 obstacles in triple digit heat weren't enough, he was getting over a nasty virus and his plantar fasciitis in his foot was acting up. Before the race started , I prayed told him to utilize wisdom and to quit if needed, after all he is the sole provider of our home.

The reality? I knew he wouldn't stop as difficult as it was going to be, because he had his eye on the prize.

"Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!"
1 Corinthians 9:24 NLT

What was his prize? Well he was going to complete his trifecta. This was his third final race to finish a series of runs to become a true spartan for the spartan races. To not run or quit would mean that next year he would need to start all over, running the series of races because they needed to be completed in a calendar year.

The average time for a non elite racer was about five hours, for this particular race this day. This was his goal as well. He took off at 915am and we saw him about half way through , limping down a hill clearly in pain. He was only at the half way mark at about 6 miles. I reminded him it was ok to stop, he gave us a kiss and rimped (running while limping) on his way. By this time the temperature had hit triple digits and it didn't look promising.

However, in my heart I knew quitting wasn't going to be easy for him, when he had his two little guys counting on him to finish.

There was a moment when it was just me and my boys sitting on some hay in the middle of this tent with over a hundred people waiting for daddy. I was prompted to pray. I looked down at my watch and noticed it was 2:15 and realized we were coming up on the fifth hour and he was no where in sight.

So I gathered the boys and told them we needed to pray. I asked the Holy Spirit to intercede on his behalf on what he needed. I remember only two things that I prayed for , super natural strength and miraculous healing on his foot. As I prayed I had a sense that my prayer wasn't just a help him through, but more like a devine intervention to carry him to the finish.

It was about a hour and half later that I saw him coming over to his last few obstacles. He was clearly in a lot of pain and could barely walk let alone run. My heart broke to see him that way, but I rejoiced knowing that in a few short moments he would cross the the finish line. Battered and bruised , barely walking ,but he would finish.

He finished , I walked over and congratulated him. He was in a lot of pain and he apologized that it took longer than he expected. He said I almost gave up, at mile ten I couldn't do it anymore. Then something happened and I was able to just go. I said, oh really , what time was that at? He said at about 2:15.

You know what I love about The Lord? When He does something , He makes it pretty obvious. Jesus told his disciples that He was to go away to prepare a place, but not to worry He would send a helper. That moment in the tent the Helper showed me when to pray and what to pray for. And that helper gave my husband the strength to finish his race.

Take a moment and think about where you are... Are you in the middle of your race about to give up? Or are you praying and interceding , hoping for a miracle? Or perhaps both? I want to tell you NOT to give up. We have no idea when the answer to that prayer is just around the corner.

But it's hard to keep running, it seems like I have been running this same mile for days, years etc. Perhaps, but would you like to start over? A HARD mile completed is better that having to do it again. Don't give up keep you eye on the prize! The finish line is near, you may finished battered and bruised, but it's better than not finishing!

My husbands motivation to finish was us being there waiting cheering him on from the sideline. Similar to what it says in Hebrews 12: 1-2 , I'll leave you with this scripture...

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God"

Many have finished the race, many are praying for you, cheering for you. Whatever is holding you back or down, get rid of it and run. And like Paul has said run to win! AROO!!!!

Run, Walk just don't quit! love you,
Moni

Throwback- Teacher Appreciation Week!

My sons school had Teacher Appreciation Week a few weeks ago. This week is the "official" week and I was sadden to know a few teachers who's principals or parents didn't recognize them for what they do.

I'm grateful that Asher goes to a school where our principal cares about her staff. So in light of the week, I wanted to share a letter I wrote last year to all teachers.. Here is a little throwback blog...

Here is the link http://faithfoodandfitnessforreal.blogspot.com/2014/04/touching-our-world.html?m=1

Have a blessed day!
Mon

Where's the glow?

                       Laguna Family Picture from last weekend.. Sarah Grace is in the tummy (23 weeks)!

                                                      

Its been a minute since I have last blogged, ok longer than a minute. Since I found out I was pregnant I have been in survival mode. Like trying to hold food down, trying to keep balance through the hormone dizzy, still trying to fit in size small maternity pants in denial that those suckers will no where near pull up over my expanding thighs! 

This is pregnancy three for me and boy let me tell you its been a rough ride. The other day I reminded my husband that since thanksgiving, there has not been one good day of pregnancy. I think the longest I have gone is a day or two without throwing up and when I think I turned a little corner the little girl in my tummy is reminding me who will be in charge when she arrives.

Oh did you catch that, Yes it is a girl! Praise God, because after we welcome this little princess, the shop will be closed for good. Yup there will be no more baby making productions going on in this womb of mine. Although I love my children dearly, pregnancy is has not been so blissful unlike those cute pintrest maternity pictures you see!!!

You know what I am going to do some reality pictures, you know the ones with your head in the toilet, or the one were you look like a four year old with wet pants, because you couldn't control your bladder. Or better yet the one in fetal position, because you ate something that created enough acid to create an atomic bomb! Oh, I know the one where my perfectly position swollen hand (because I ate to much salt) is gently up against expanding cheek that is growning more rapidly than my uterus. 

The reality of age, weight gain, gestational diabetes ( although not sure if I have it this time around yet) morning sickness ( that should be renamed all day sickness), dizziness, gas, acid reflux, uncontrollable bladder, panty liners, emergency trips to the pot and crazy hormone moods have me wondering how on earth did I sign up for this again. 

Last night after I went to bed I heard my hubby in the kitchen and poor thing was probably hiding the knives! He may or may not live to see the birth of his little girl, Im just saying.....  The other night I got in fetal position and cried like a baby. Actually not even like a cute baby cry,  but the UGLY cry. OMG have you ever seen a pregnant women ugly cry? It aint pretty probably could be the poster child for a mental health ad.  My husband got on his knees started to pray for me, reminded me that there will be suffering sometimes and ......... I know he was trying to encourage me, but unless he has pushed a watermelon out of a grape size hole out of his body, he has not idea.. Hahah see told you, pray for his safety. 

I started to feel guilty about the way I had been  feeling, because I wasn't enjoying my pregnancy. While I have friends struggling to get pregnant, Im sure they would welcome anything pregnancy would give them. The other day I was in the shower, praying and really calling out to the Lord.  I don't know what it is about the shower, but with water running down my face makes my tears feel more dramatic its like a holy place for me. As the water beads down its like it is washing away the sorrow! 

My thoughts were all over the place, why am I so sick, what happen to what I thought you showed me, and thought after thought.... Then my heart and my mind was still and I heard the Lord say " My Grace is sufficient for your needs"

Cue in ugly cry now........... When I got out of the shower, I was reminded that its ok, not to be ok. Its ok to not find joy in the turmoil, but to find joy in the hope that it is not going to be like this forever. In four months or less, I will be holding my precious girl, and although the days seem long it will be a short time in my life that I did not like being pregnant. 

You don't have to like where God has you. You don't have even be joyful that things are falling apart.. BUT He wants you to know that His grace is enough to keep you afloat. He wants you to know that there is hope, that it isn't going to last forever. 

2nd Corinthians 12:9-10 

" My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest in me. There for I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproach, in needs in persecutions, in distress for Christ sake. For when I am weak then I am strong.

I love this exhortation from Paul. Paul didn't take pleasure in the pain itself, but rejoiced in the power of Christ that revealed. Paul was the real deal, right before that verse he was pleading with the Lord to take away the thorn in his flesh. A commentary said that " he was longing for relief and begging for this painful hindrance he was enduring." Have you ever found yourself in a place of longing or begging the Lord for relief? I know I have and was that day in the shower. 

And you know what its ok. It is ok to be in a place where you are not ok, because that is the place when His grace will meet you and when He is working through you. How can you feel weak with Christ is working through you? You are weak but He is strong. I hope I come to a place where I enjoy being pregnant in my last few months, but I know this for sure, I love this child so much I would not ever wish I wasn't, even in my hardest day. I will love her to the moon and back, and one day I will share how my baby Grace was the strength I need to make it through one more day of vomiting! 

Are you begging or longing? I hope you are encouraged today, that whatever the thorn in your flesh is that you find hope knowing that Christ is working through you.. 

Love you all!!!!

Moni 

A Friend Loves At All Times

I struggled with writing this blog. I in no way want to bring attention to our family , but by not writing it, I felt that I was not giving God the proper glory. When Noah was just about to turn two we found out that the grandson of a friend of my husbands was just diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. 

His name was Noah (I) and he was 18 months old at the time. It broke our hearts, perhaps it was the age and name, but it really hurt our hearts. His mom a teacher and single parent was caring for her boy and we felt the Lord impress upon our hearts to help them out.

As we planned  his party we felt the Lord telling us that instead of our friends and family bring our Asher gifts that we ask  that the gifts be brought to the other Noah instead. Then immediately, thoughts of doubt flooded our minds, what if our family and friends didn't want too buy for someone they didn't know. Will they think that we are "neglecting" our child… and the thoughts kept coming.

I remember sitting on my chair in my sons room watching him play. Thinking of Noah's mom, who was probably sitting in a chair watching her boy, only it was in a hospital and her son was laying in a bed. Then Lord reminded me that it didn't matter, that it was between them and Him. We just needed to be obedient! I also remember talking to a friend who said " its OK Noah is to young to know or remember it". Not sure if this was her way of encouraging me, but for some reason almost five years later I was reminded of that.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were trying to figure out what we were going to do for the boys birthday. A dreaded conversation, because my plans and our budget generally does not go together like peanut butter and jelly! Often times I can resort to my inner toddler and draw up a good tantrum when my husband tries to reel me in on what we can actually afford. Bless his heart that he still loves me after all these years and usually makes it happen.

Anyways, we tossed the idea of the parties together, because their birthdays are only two weeks apart,  I heard that voice again. You know that voice , that usually calls you to do something that you have to completely step out on faith on… 

"Um honey, what if we give the boys a party and instead of the boys getting gifts, we give them to another little boy who is sick?" 

"who?"

" I don't know, we can do the sandlot party because, Noah wants to play baseball with his friends and we pray on who to give the gifts to." 

As quickly as I said it, was as quickly as he agreed. We sat the kids down and explained to them that we were having a party only they would not be getting gifts. I didn't have an answer, other than the Lord would provide the child whom would receive the blessing, when they asked who would get the gifts.

Noah looked at me and immediately those thoughts again flooded my mind. Its OK for us, but is it fair to ask our friends and family? Will our children hold it against us remembering the birthday that mommy and daddy gave away all their gifts? And then we had one of those moments that was ordained by the lord. When we explained to them that on their actual birthday we would take them to get one toy, their faces lit up. 

"One toy mommy? Anything I want? Noah's screamed…. And his smile could not be contained. He was content in just that one special toy. So now, who Lord? I'll spare the details for the sake of this blog being super long, but the Lord allowed us to be in contact with the aunt of a little boy victor. The Sunday before I was to send out the invites , I received a text from a friend that this little boy just got diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma. He is seven years old and his and birthday was also in November. This was an answer to prayer because we wanted someone who was close to the boys age. 

I remember driving and I was thinking. Lord I get the vision that you gave us for this party, but what if the others don't get it. What if they think we are terrible parents to ask this type of understanding for our children at their age. What if our community feels obligated to get this little boy something, but really are not OK with it… and then the thoughts went on and on…. Then I heard the voice of the Lord say.. " A friend loves at all times."

You see I realized that day although, we were taking the earthly gifts, we were giving our kids the best gift, and that was the gift on how to be a good friend. How to love others and share the blessing, how to be selfless. Also teaching them that although some people will never understand the things God calls us to do it doesn't matter because we need to be obedient. And that is not for us to worry about, that is between them and the Lord. This is something that we could never teach them with words, but it had to be displayed through action. 

The Lord totally orchestrated this party perfect, He provided through family and friends what was needed and the desires of my heart for this party. He knew who exactly who would be there and I know that before we had even had a thought about a party, He knew it was for Victor. 

At one point of the party I glanced over to the baseball field where all the kids were playing and I had a emotional moment.  There running the bases were both Noah's.. Five years later and by the grace of God we were able to celebrate life with our boys and the very little boy that we had been praying for since he was 18 months. A friendship that would have never been birthed unless we were called to be his friend. And it has been a blessing to watch this little boy grow. 

                                                                  Noah Squared

We had a blast at the sandlot… On our drive home, barely able to stay awake, I looked over at the boys… "Did you have fun?"

"It was the best birthday ever mommy, we had so much fun playing baseball with our friends.. It was just what I wanted"

                                          Pre game warm up.. Benny the "Jet" (Noah) leading the pack

I smile and reminded them "A friend loves at all times" remember that boys, remember your fun at the sandlot today, but also remember that when its time to give those gifts to victor."

That night I got all the gifts together, the cards and money and got it ready for Sunday delivery. The next  morning the kids woke up to see the basket filled with Lego's and other goodies. I waited for the meltdown of my newly turned four year old, but you know what it never happened. They delighted in the stuff and were excited that Victor got some cool Lego sets. My heart leaped, my faith was strengthened and at that moment I trust the Lord a little more. 

That night we received a text from Victors aunt. She attached a picture of Victor who now sat on his bed with a bald head and a small smile. He was blessed that someone one who didn't even know him would shower him with gifts. Oh Victor, we don't know you buddy, but Jesus does.... We sat the boys down and we showed them the picture of Victor and they wondered where his hair went. We explained to them how sick Victor was and that we needed to continue to pray. Noah asked if he could and I can't remember it all, but he closed with "please watch over our friend victor." 

And in that moment, the Lord gave our kids their birthday gift, the gift of what it looks like to be a friend. You see we are only on this earth a short time in relation to eternity. Chances are the gifts that our boys (although grateful) would have  gotten would have been enjoyed for a few weeks, then would have ended up in the closet. It is our hope that as soon as Victor is well, one day he will circle the bases with our boys and a friendship is built. That perhaps Victor will know that the greatest friend we could ever have is Jesus. The one person who could have only placed the desire for a donated birthday in the heart of a single income family. 

To all of our family and friends who made it out.. Thank you, thank you for your time and generosity, we hope you all had a blast. Here is part of the text that Victors aunt sent us:

          "It is amazing to see God's hand at work. You have reminded us and that our precious Victor is in our 

          Lords hand and He will get us through. God Bless all of you and please let everyone that participated and 

          and praying for him know that Victor and his family are extremely grateful. "

We could not have been able to do this with all you guys.. We love you!

And for those of you that have made it through this totally long blog here is what I learned....

-God will spare no resources to reach the one

-When the Lord places a vision in your heart or calls you to do something generally it requires you to step out in faith.

-It doesn't matter how foolish or what others will think, it requires faith to be set apart.

-All He requires is for you to be obedient.

-He will provide all the details and everything you need.

-Don't do it alone, ask help from your community.

-The best lessons are taught not told! 

Please remember Victor in your prayers as he continues to fight this battle and remember that a friend loves at all times, be a friend even if means giving up something to do it. All Glory to God that He would allow us to be a small part in a big plan for this little guys life. Its always a privilege and Honor to serve Him.. 

Some of my favorite pictures from the day....

 My Parents with the boys

 Squints

 The Sandlot Gang

Benny the Jet (Noah)

 Scotty "Smalls" (Caleb)

No party is complete without cookies or cupcakes from Little Miss Cupcake and Company.. You can check out her goodies here 

Thank you Mom for your generosity, to much to list., Thank you Melissa Runcie for the awesome print the kids got to remind them of a true friend, thank you Grandma Rozanne for the baseball gear, and the donuts! Thank you Auntie Nicely for the Cookies they were "Epic", thank you Auntie Patricia for your servant heart to help with the set up....

To my little family,

Daddy and Boys, I am so proud of you and your heart of service and love.. I am blessed and loved more than I could ever imagine and you make me better. I am proud of you! I love you forever, like you for always as long as I am living my babies youll be!!!!!

To Victor and Family....

We are praying for you and hope one day to meet you all. Please know that the Lord has great plans for you and your little boy, His hand is already on Him.. It is only through His love that we would be humbled enough to be used by the Lord. Thank you for allowing us too! 

xoxoxox

Moni

Being called

I remember the day The Lord showed me to quit my job to be a stay at home mom. I was fearful and not sure how we would survive on one income ,  but I was sure of one thing... I was being called.

In the middle of worship ,my then five  year old turned around with his hands lifted up and said " we should do a worship night with all the families and teachers of our school." I wasn't sure how it would happen, if anyone would come, but I was sure of one thing... We were being called.

She felt the Lord stirring up her heart to participate in organizing a prayer vigil for pastor Saeed and the persecuted church. She wasn't  sure how it would happen in a short time, who would come, but she was sure of one thing.... She was being called.

The calling in each of these scenarios are different, however there are a few things that remain the same...

1. There is a calling.
2. There is fear and doubt when been being called.
3. Faith and obedience is required is required.

The bible says that many are called but only few are willing. Have you ever had a time when you are really trying to get a hold of someone and they are just not picking up the phone? It's frustrating right? And there is nothing worse than missing a call of a blessing to go to a free concert or a game to your favorite teams game.

Here is one thing I know, when we do not pick up the phone when the Lord is calling there is the potential to miss out on the blessing. Even if the calling seems to feel like a burden or laborsome.

Rick Yancey, says this "God doesn't call the equipped, son. God equips the called. And you have been called.'

Big or small, the Lord has a calling on your life to fulfill the purpose for either you or someone else. What I love about the Lord is that he spares no resources to fulfill his will in our lives. The question is will you answer his call?

It can be scary, but speaking from experience the only calling I have regretted stepping out on faith on, is the ones that I have been to fearful to get outta the boat.

If God is calling you, go! Take Him by the hand and go! He's got you! Trust Him then thank Him that He has called you worthy!

9/11, 3/13, 10/14 and so on and so on

This morning I woke up and I ain't gonna lie, I went straight to Facebook to see if there had been any early morning attacks. Because you know Facebook is probably the fastest new source we have.

This morning there were many people waking up remembering that this day 13 years ago they kissed a loved one good bye and never saw them again.

We remember 9/11.. And although it's good we do I also think about all the other days 3/13, 10/14, 6/18 and so on and so on. What are those dates you ask? Random as they seem, they are also dates of attack on someone ,somewhere. You see we all have an "9/11" In our lives.  A day we woke up and had no idea it would be the last day , we would see someone for the last time or experience some sort of attack in our lives.

I am not in anyway taking anything away for the horrific events that happen this day or to the people who had lost their lives. I remember that time like yesterday , and when I reflect back I choose not to remember the horrific images of burning buildings, crashing planes and devastated people. Because that is what the enemy and evil people responsible want us to... But I , remember the images of a country united together. People helping people, churches full, pastors praying with communities on the streets with vigils. I remember the love and unity this tragic day created.

Today I am praying that as we remember, we don't remember the attack, but we remember the impact of those lost lives that sparked a revival in our hearts and country. I'm praying that we don't wait for tragedy to happen in our lives to get us on our knees and praying. I'm praying that we finally get rid of the bitterness and anger we are harboring in our heart for each other.  I'm praying that we find a way to love each other despite our differences. I'm praying that we come alongside each other to build up communities that are safe for our children. I'm praying that we live beyond ourselves and stop believing that we cannot make a difference. I'm praying that we would see a need and help, even if it is just a small smile to someone who looks sad. I'm praying that we become a country that is united and birth in prayer so that when someone wants to attack us they tremble in fear. I pray that we become people who the devil fears. I pray for better days ahead in this broken and fallen world. I pray we are hopeful and not hopeless.

I pray that we would not feel weak and defeated but that we would know that we are strong enough to fight anything when we stand with each other. I pray for community and I pray that we live lives pleasing to God till our time here is up!

I hope that we would be spiritually built up so that when our 9/11 happens we will be strong enough to withstand the blow or better yet that we would be able to intercede against the evil trying to take us down.

Yesterday , I gathered in our home with a few friends and we prayed in the name of Jesus that anyone trying to plan an attack on this day would be binded up. What if? What if? God honored our short (and I say short compared to the many hours in the day) time of prayer to stop what someone planned to carry out! What if , this morning someone who planned to hurt someone's plan failed because we stood in the gap against the enemy with the power of prayer.

We will never know what goes on the back scenes , but here is what I do know that when I pray, my Lord hears. I know the God I serves spares NO resources when it comes to His children . I know that apart from God I don't have the faith, strength or hope to face another day.

You want to honor the lost today. Do it by loving someone better or forgiving someone who doesn't deserve it but because you need to. May God help us, our country and the future "9/11's" in our lives!