Impossible Past brings A Possible Future

The other day I had a revelation.. The only way this baby is coming out is through labor.. Yeah I know right? I cannot go through labor again! I had a moment of fear, again.. Yup I said again, maybe perhaps I am weak sauce but I am sometimes fearful.. So I prayed and asked the Lord to give me peace that would surpass my understanding....

I had a dream.. Not like Martin Luther King, just a simple dream, cuzz I am not that big time. I was standing in front a few thousand people giving a presentation. I cant remember what I was presenting but I remember I was kinda nervous. When I woke up I prayed like I usually do thanking the Lord for waking me up and He reminded me of a time in my life when I was fearful.

It was early in my career... I was working on a project with a team and we were to give a presentation to the whole LA market at a all employee meeting. It was going to be at the Cerritos performing Arts center. So I showed up to work our table and pass out these cool text messaging cheat sheets. It was well before text messaging blew up.. This was a good 8 years ago... Anyhow, when I got there, they informed me that our presenter did not feel well and was not able to present, as we stood there I all of sudden felt 6 pair of eyes looking at me.. Ok really? I am the rookie here... But they convinced me that since I worked heavily on the project I was the best one to present the 20 page slide. True or not.. I tend to believe not! They just did not want to do it, anyhow I was the sucker!

Ok seriously who wants to hear a presentation about the network and texting capability and our vision for our group when everyone only cared about the raffles and give aways. It was going to be a tough crowd to begin with! I was going in cold, no notes, no slides and the first time seeing them would be when I went on stage. I remember pacing in the back and a Area Manager coming over to me and perhaps I looked pale or maybe my pacing drew her in. She said “lil mon, relax and pray and you will do fine.”

I said a quick two minute prayer and I felt a little better. “How many people you think is out there I asked her? ummm about 2000 and then I felt a rush of anxiety, and I was up... I stepped on stage preparing for the worse and you know what? It really wasn't so bad.. There was so many lights hitting the stage that I couldn't see not one person, all I saw was the light.

It made me realize this... sometimes we are called to something that seems so big and impossible. We build ourselves up worrying for nothing. When it comes down to it, it really isn't that bad and the Lord shows us the light. We think that we are not equipped enough and He puts us in a situation to remind us that He prepared us for such the time. He shows us time and time again that He got us through ( you fill in the blank) and He will be faithful to get us through again....

Hey listen God test Abraham many times to produce faith before He asked him to sacrifice his son. You think that Abraham would have went if he didn't remember what God had did for him before? No way..

Things seem impossible? Then remember your past to be confident about what you can overcome in the future...

Love you guys!
Mon

A lost resume brings revelation

I couldn't sleep the other night because I realized for some reason I wasn't sure if I had a copy of my resume.. So in the morning I searched my files that I had taken off my work laptop when I quit over 2 years ago, and no luck. Then I found a few usb cruisers and nope not there. If I wasn't so sick I would have went into the garage and searched the 6 boxes I have yet to clean out when I packed up my office...

Now this poses a problem if I dont have a hard copy in my desk files in those boxes I am not sure what I will do.. So you are probably wondering why I would be looking for a resume? Am I looking for a job? Nope, however I am from the school of business that unless you document something then it never happen. That is the first rule you learn in management..

So after my third night of tossing and turning I had to ask myself why in the world is this bothering me? And I realized the hard truth, at the end of the day, when my career ended all I have is that piece of paper. When I turned in my laptop, staff meetings, conference calls and a office, for baby bottles, diapers and a nursery my world changed and I have regrets.

It made me really reflect on how hard I worked for soooo many years to obtain that title, obtain that office, obtain that pay missing out of the more important things in life. I admit with shame that there are days when I realize I worked harder for att trying to please my director than in my home trying to please the Lord.

Don't get me wrong I loved my job and 90% of the time loved my company, and I met lifetime friends however I was in bondage to my job. It sucked the life out of me, I lived on my phone, lived on my laptop and lived in the office. In the blink of the eye it was gone. My desire changed, the Lord called me home and all I have left of that time of my life is a piece of paper. And maybe not even that!

I would lie to say that I am ok if I never find that resume but only for selfish reasons to celebrate my accomplishments that really mean nothing now. Perhaps you are working at a job that consumes most of your time. Or maybe you don't realize it does. I know I was there, my husband used to tell me but I was in denial.

Just remember that tomorrows never promised. People in your life may not be there tomorrow, and your job may not be there tomorrow. Don't have regrets, like I do, I thank God that he used my sons birth to pull me out to what is really important.... Life and those that are in it!

I will leave you with some advice a area manager gave me one time she said this "monica, at the end of the day this business will run without you, if you drop dead on the floor, this business will still run there will be someone climbing over you to take your position." This was harsh words but she got her point across loud and clear and she was only concerned over the time I was spending in the office....

Is this you? Who are you trying to please? This blog took a random turn but after all I am the one losing sleep over a resume so go figure... If this is you.. I pray for you. Seek God for wisdom on how he wants you to use your time. He never in tented this life to be spent trying to earn that dollar for things that will make it with us to eternity...


Praying for you, be blessed not stressed ( as Momma Tate used to say)
Love you guys!!
Mon

"Hose water never hurt anyone!"

I was looking at a old video the other day of some cousins and I playing and I could help to wish just a little that Noah could have been growing up in those times.. You remember the times when it was safe to drink out of the water hose.

Or when your parents had to bribe you to come inside the house for dinner. Kids weren't stuck in front of the computer, tv or video games. It was safe to walk to the park with your friends and play for hours. It was actually fun to ride your bike to school or the store, not cuzz you had to because you didn't have a ride. We had to be creative in finding new things to play with outside and actually ran around playing tag, dodge ball and hand ball.

Barbie had modest clothes back then and G.I. Joe was a hero! People stopped by to visit with out fair warning.. They didn't set up visits in the blackberry, palm pilot or through outlook. People didn't tweet, text or FB to see how you were doing they actually called or stopped by. People kept promises and didn't let the life get in the way of missing "dinner or coffee dates".. You know what I am talking about the occasional "lets get together soon for dinner or something" only never to schedule the date and let the time pass by. I know I am guilty of it.

Kids respected parents and actually walked around without a ipod attached to their ear. When did we start letting life live us instead of us living life? Blame it on technology, but it is sad that we have allowed the busyness of life get in the way of living life. Faith has been lost in the home, because no one is there and family time doesn't exist. People are obese because lets face it we have become convenient. You can do anything from the Internet and it has made it easy to be lazy. And food has become fast and quick because no one has made the time to cook anymore.

I speak not because I have authority or because I have it together but I share my heart because I also am guilty of every single thing! I challenge you today... Drink from the hose.. come on it never hurt anybody... Drop in on a friend.. call someone up instead of using the social outlets of the Internet or phone, set up a family day with the family... Get outside and play tag with your kids or teach them one of the old games you used to play.. More importantly in anything that you do include the Lord so he can bless it!

As I pursue Faith, Fitness and Food for myself and family I pray you do to!
Mon

My Heart- My Son

If you ever wanted to know what my heart looks like, I will tell you.. He stands a little over 3 feet, has his daddy smile and his eyes are full of Joy, and he is probably wearing a “CARS” hat.

I never really pictured myself as a mom, I thought about it because that is the thing you do after you get married.. Come on you know, when you dating they say “when are you getting married?” then you get married and it is “when are you having kids?” then after your first it is “when are you having another one?” am I right? So the thought crossed my mind until it became reality on March 12, 2007.

Lets back up a minute, one day back in about November of 2006 I was in the mall and I for some reason had paid attention to the many kids that were there. It must have been the worse of the worse that day. I saw toddlers not obeying their parents to disrespectful teens using foul language with no consideration to those around them.

I remember driving home that day listening to worship and crying. I was so hurt for some reason with the youth of today. I remember crying out to the Lord “ Lord if you never give me child I am ok with it, what I cant be ok is one that will never follow you. If my children will not follow you then please close my womb and keep me barren..” I know right? Those kids that day scared me straight!

So when I found out I was pregnant, it was the night that sal left for Israel. That is a another story in itself.. But I want to talk about our son today. Noah has always been a little different than some kids I think from birth. It was confirmed that his name was Noah in a dream I had about a flood, Noah means “comforter” and Asher was given to daddy when he was reading the bible one day. Asher means “blessed one” or “smiling one” and that he lives up to.

He came into the world with a swollen kidney, meconiun in the sac at birth, the umbilical cord around his neck during labor, a dropping heartbeat, Jaundice and a small hole in his heart. A little testing of our faith for sure for me and my hubby but as we trusted in the Lord with His son and time he was healed of all things by his 7 month birthday!

Who is my son.....

He is the two year old that reminds mommy to pray when we are leaving in the car if I am in the hurry.

He is the two year old who prays for all his meals, even snacks.

He is a two year old who asks to go to the fire station to “pray for the guys” There are times we pray and only minutes later they are called out.

He is the two year old who will tell you that he is reading “ Psalms, Numbers” when asked what are you reading in the bible.

He is a two year old who prayed for aunties car for two whole weeks and we found out later that for two weeks auntie felt like she was going to get in a accident.

He is a two year old who has been carrying a bible around since he was only months old.

He is a two year old who loves to worship and will raise his hands when he sings, and there are times at night he lifts my arms up to worship to.

He is a two year old who loves people and has always been social and brings smiles to peoples face. The other day we were at a funeral and he wanted to talk to this random lady, we didn't know her, but he was so set on talking to her. My husband took him over and he said “ I love you” to her and then left.

He is a two year old who has a heart for Jesus. During the week of Easter I read him a Easter bible, and it had cool animated pictures in it. When we got to the picture of Jesus by the cross with torn clothes and some scuff marks on his face and body he said “NO NO NO Jesus” he tried to wipe the dirt off his face and when he saw the crown he said “ Off, momma off” he wanted the crown off Jesus.

Who is my son, he is a child after God’s heart. I am a better mommy because he continues to show me how to be a better Christian. Jesus loved children and I know why. The Scripture over Noah's bed on the wall says “let the little children come to me and do not forbid them, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”- Matt 19:14

When I picked it I always thought that would be a good scripture for Noah, but as I have learned it speaks more to me. I am so thankful and honored that the Lord would choose me to be the mommy of this extraordinary kid. Ive said it before and I will again say it, that if I had the faith, the love, the joy that this kid has I would be a better person!

Thank you for letting me share my son with you!

Mon

My house- My husband

He is a son, a father, a brother, a uncle, a grandson, a great-grandson, a husband, a dad, a friend, a uncle, a Biola Grad, a student, a teacher, a hard worker and most important a child of GOD.

I realized that you cant possibly know who I am without knowing who I love.. Today I want to blog about my best friend, my helpmate, my love, my strength, and my world. A Godly man, a amazing husband and a wonderful father.... my husband!

Like everything in my life it was God’s Divine hand that brought us together.. I saw him for the first time when I mixed paint for him at my job back in 96’ and I realized when he left two things.. I should have flirted more for his number and I had no idea how to mix paint!

A year later I walked into a new job and what do you know.. The Lord provides because he was one of my bosses! We were friends for about two years before we decided to go out. December 12th, 1998 we started dating, got engaged in 2001 and were married on Oct 13, 2002... We started our marriage in the Lord back in January of 2003 and it has been an amazing ride. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He is the person that makes me better. He pushes me when I want to give up and extends much Grace when I am a brat ( I know hard to imagine huh?) . He is one of the most selfless people I know. Even though I do not live in a castle and I am a total tomboy he has away of making me feel like a princess.

He is a great provider for our family, putting our needs before his and always protecting us. He is patient when I am not, which is most of the time! He is calm when I get fluster, he is slower to anger and never has said anything to me that is not pleasing to God.

What I love most about my husband is that he loves the Lord more than me. He embraces loving his wife like Christ has loved the church. His heart is as big as his wonderful smile and his love for children is infectious. He loves to teach the bible to his six grade Sunday school, he has a heart to share Gods love to the Apache people and their children. He has a heart to get out and change the world, and he knows that nothing is impossible with God.

I love my husband because he makes me a better person. He points me to the Lord and builds me up. If I could see myself through his eyes, I would have more confidence, I would stand taller and I would be prouder.

This Christmas we went to his Christmas party for work. I met many guys who told me how much they appreciate the man he is, the talks, advice and what a blessing he is to them. Everyone I met acted as if they knew me, they all said “ we have heard so much about you”. I am reminded of something my pastor said on time. He said you know how much your spouse loves and talks about you when you meet the people at his work.

They knew me because my husband loves me, but I love him because he first loves the Lord. He is a great dad and I see so much of him in my son. I thank God that He choose my husband to be the leader of our home. I know with him and God nothing is impossible for our family... I am blessed!!!!!

Giving props to my man,

Mon

God's Grace in a Locked Garage!

Today I was reminded that no matter how far you feel from God, He is not as far as you think He is. I have been neglecting my Lord... Yup I said it out loud, I have been to busy focusing on how sick that I am that I haven't taken the time to talk to the one who holds the very hand He created. The almighty physician, my Lord, my Savior who has carried me time and time again during the valley of my life...

So today I was feeling a little defeated, asking the Lord for forgiveness for self pity, laziness and my lack of communication with Him. For my lack of Praise for the wonderful blessing He is fashioning and forming in my womb during this time of sickness. Then like always He used a simple situation to show me that He is a God of much Grace!

They are working on the concrete outside our town home today. So we had to move the car out of the garage onto the street this morning. I rarely go out the front door, so I don't even have a house key. So Noah and I exit the front door this afternoon and locked the bottom lock and shut the door. I have my garage opener in the car and we could get in that way when we come home.

So we get home from a blessed lunch with grandma, open the garage and go to open the door into the house from the garage and guess what LOCKED.. We have a lock on top of the door from the inside so Asher doesn't go into the garage and because I didn't go out through the garage today, I didn't realize it was still locked from the morning :( So what do I do, in true hot mess fashion.... I panic.. what are we going to do Noah? I made a few calls with no luck, and just then as usual the lunch decided to come up.. So there we were sitting in the open garage, me crying throwing up in a bucket, Noah crying because he wanted to ride his power wheel and a few Mexican workers wondering what the heck in going on my garage.

As I was throwing up, I was crying out to the Lord, help me please Lord.. A minute later our property manager walked up and asked if I was ok. Now this is a miracle in it self because we rarely see this guy. I asked if he had keys to our place on him. He said no, he came to open the town home next to us to check it out. A simple sorry and he was on his way and I was crying again.. I know who cries that much... Well a pregnant lady ok!!! A minute later he came over and said you aren't going to believe this but " I accidentally brought the keys to your place which is letter "E" instead of the place next to you which is "F".

Then I cried more because I know it was not a coincidence but God's showing His Grace that no matter how far we think we are from God. We sometimes aren't.. A friend said to me today that we are sometimes more disappointed in ourselves than God is sometimes ( thanks Nay!) and you know what it is true. Yes I have been a little neglectful in my reading, my devotion time, in my prayer time and my blogging about God's love but He reminded encouraged me. He reminded me that He is a God of Grace and we also need to extend that to ourselves sometimes and especially to others.

Thank you for hanging in there with me. I want to share this journey with you all.. I am committed again, as a pregnant mom trying to find the balance of Faith, Food and Fitness. I may not be running marathons this year but I will definitely be on one! I appreciate your prayers and encouragement... Love you Guys!

Thanking God for His Grace today...

Mon