Last Christmas I gave you my heart, this year I give you my time!

The other day the boys came home and said that their teacher posed this question to them….

“What gift are YOU giving Jesus this year?”

First thing I thought of was “last Christmas I gave you my heart.. but the very..’ In my very good Wham voice. I know its sad, my kids are having a serious conversation and my musical turrets were on high alert! 

Que conviction now… I haven’t stopped thinking about that. The gift not the song, because let’s be honest we will sing that  darn song at least 2-3 more times before the season is over. ok and we are back…  Have you ever tried to shop for someone who has everything or has the money to get everything? It is quite difficult, really. 

What could I possibly give the ultimate gift giver. I mean, He gave the ultimate gift, His only son to die for our sins. No big deal right.. ummmmm come on! 

Getting to know Jesus through His word, I kinda lean to think that one of His love language is quality of time. My Noah is a simple kid, ask him what he wants he will say a pack or two of baseball cards. Tell him that you are going to spend time playing a game with him, watch his eyes light up. It’s his ultimate gift, simple and free. 

Thinking on what I could give Jesus this year, I heard a small voice say, “more of your time.” A frazzled friend told me the other day she didn’t make it to church because she didn’t have time that morning. I reminded her that when I give my time first to God, He maximizes all my other time. Does this mean I do it everyday? Nope. This is why this Christmas I am giving Him the gift of my time. 

Sounds kinda arrogant right? Imagine, telling your friend, “You know what I am going to give you the gift or more time with me.” Hahaha she may ask for the gift receipt. You know what I love about Jesus? It’s the heart of a father and to him that gift is a sweet aroma. And guess what that is the gift that keeps giving. As I spend time with Him, I am gifted with the fruit that follows.

I bet if you ask an empty nester what they want for Christmas, hands down they just want time with their children. Ask a parent grieving the loss of the child, they would ask for just a little more time with their loved one. Our time is precious and we can choose what we do with it and that is why it is a gift. 

Since I have started homeschool , my time with Jesus has not been like it used to. However I can tell you that it is most crucial that I am doing it. Probably why on some days I am threatining the kids with going back to traditional school ( no offense they just like school in PJ’s).

So this Christmas I say to Jesus, you have me more than you did yesterday. I say that my time is precious and I choose to spend more of it with you. I know that is pleasing to you. 

What is your gift this year? Perhaps you don’t even know Him. Maybe your gift is you! Listen what a gift you can have this year of His birthday, the gift of salvation. Have questions, need to talk this Christmas, need prayer  need a church or need the gift of a friend, I'm sooo down!

Merry Christmas,

Moni

951-315-5968

When God calls you to be uncomfortable

OH hey girl, Hey!!!!

Look who got a blog in, I am back from the blogging sabbatical. Don't worry we didn't get rid of Gracie Girl, in the process of updating the look and pictures! Hope you all have been well! New season, new work, new lessons to be learn and I am all in ready to learn! 

When God Calls you to be uncomfortable 

Uncomfortable-

causing or feeling slight pain or physical discomfort.

causing or feeling unease or awkwardness.

There I was floating on my back, eyes closed, just filtering out the sound of anyone other than my thoughts. I was between two thoughts…. relaxing ones and ones of terror thinking about how many kids have probably peed in this huge pool of water. 

All of a sudden  the loud siren came on which was a warning that the calm water was about to get crazy with the ripples of waves that would soon follow for a few minutes.

The boys swam over full of excitement, and screaming over the laughter of loudness of waves crashing, parents yelling for kids to be careful and loud as day I heard…

“Mom, can you baptize me and Caleb right now?” 

“Huh” 

“Yes, I explained to Caleb what baptism is and we both want to do it here, right now”

“Here” I yelled.. “ Are you sure, like right now here at Legoland?” 

“Yes” 

The waves stopped, the water got calmed and there I stood quietly uncomfortable between to eager boys who wanted to be baptized in the wave pool of Legoland. 

I have learned over time that God moves best and growth is birthed better in the uncomfortable. His calling usually has us in a place where we need total dependence of Him to function or be remotely ok. 

In fact if you look up the word, you might ask yourself why would a loving God or father want you in a place of discomfort of unease or awkwardness?

I had to ask myself the same question months ago with God called us to start to homeschool. I was like come dude, really? Have you read all the grammatical errors of my blog? Have you seen the fights I had last year with these guys to do homework? Do you know how much attention Gracie requires? 

This does not sound fun, and if I’m honest I am not comfortable with the calling you are putting on my life right now. 

I have to imagine that Jesus is sitting there looking at me the same way I look to my boys when I am leaning into them about being strong and courageous. When I am telling them to trust that God is going to help them be their source when they are being called to do something that they don’t feel equipped to do. 

As I prepare for this new chapter to start in a week or so I have to tell you what is happening in the uncomfortable.  

God is comfortably moving peace in places that seemed impossible. He is restoring hope back into my heart in places that has been housing fear and doubt. He is building up trust and totally dependance on Him , reminding me that I cannot do it on my own strength. 

Friends, if Im honest I a little terrified and the response from people when I tell them I am homeschooling doesn’t help. I have been in ministry long enough to know when God calls its not a ticket to the happiest place on earth ,but its for the happiest place not on earth. Its for eternity and rewards that will last longer than they would here. Its not the popular place and sometimes it mean standing alone in faith. BUT it is always worth the step faith. I have never regretted saying yes to the uncomfortable. 

Perhaps your uncomfortable looks different than mine. Maybe you aren’t called to homeschool and there are days I wish I didn’t answer the phone when He called. #Truth 

Here is what I want you to know.. When God calls you to the uncomfortable, you may feel ill-equipped, not adequate, may not have the resources you think you need, or even know where to start. But all He is requiring you to do is say yes and walk in faith. A wise lady shared with me years ago, She said “ Monica, do your best and let God do the rest.”

I love that because it takes the pressure off. Its shifts my mind. It moves me to the place of uncomfortable to a place of comfortably sitting in the presence of Jesus. 

So let me finish my story, After I baptized the boys in urine infested waters, they leaped out were so excited to tell everyone they knew that they were baptized. If you are a christian than you may think the its super cool and I saw a meme that it is a thing. If not people just think that you are plain weird. 

I love that the boys has such childlike faith they didn’t care, and it spoke to me so much that day that I don’t need to be comfortable, I only need childlike faith. 

I am hoping to blog again in our journey and share what God is doing in our home, I joke and say that in a month the boys might be in public school but I have so much faith in my God that, since He called me to this gig , He surely is going to be the Principal to our school…. 

“All your children shall be taught by the Lord,

And great shall be peace of your children. 

In Righteousness you shall be established: you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear…”

Isaiah 54:13-14

A scripture that spoke to me this weekend..May it bless you and remind you who really rules over our lives if we allow Him.

Mad love for you all!!!

Monica 

An Abundant Life

There is something about death that can spark life. It sometimes takes dying to make someone want to live.  

You see death doesn't scare me, but living a dead life is a tragedy. Yet, Jesus said that He came to give us life and life abundantly. How did He accomplish that? By dying on a cross to give us a different life.

Could you say your life is abundant? What is abundant?

Webster says this...
Having plenty of something. Rich, lavish, copious, ample, generous, bountiful, great, large.

Is this you?  Is it possible to have a life abundant when you turn on social media to find tragedy after tragedy? Or you are living pay check to pay check? How about that autoimmune disease that you are fighting each day just to get out of bed. In the busy of working, being a parent, extracurricular activities and everything else you are trying to juggle is it possible to have an abundant life?

If I am being honest most days, I am not. Because I measure my abundancy in things that don't matter that are not important. You see we aren't plentiful in our finances, my house lacks an extra room for Gracie and sometimes I barely have enough energy to make dinner. 

Yesterday,  I got the boys out of school early took them to have the biggest milkshakes ever. While Gracie ran around the chair with a sugar high, Caleb plowing through his candy , yes after a milk shake and Noah fighting to get down to the mug of four scoops of ice cream, I heard God whisper, this moment is abundantly blessed.

I am here to say that time is surely flying friends, days are getting shorter and this world is getting crazy. Last week I was at my grandmas funeral and Sunday night many people died in Las Vegas. I want to make sure the days that are left for me are marked with abundant moments.

Moments, I take with quiet time with my savior. Dinner dates with my husband. Grabbing scratchers from our favorite lucky mart with mom, being present with my kids , taking time to bask in blessings, not withholding any good from my friends and neighbors. Not holding grudges, saying sorry, saying I love you, having dance parties, and sipping down 1000 calorie milk shakes. 

My prayer for you friends if you are reading is that you to, take a moment to do something intentional to make an abundant moment.


The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 10:10

hi from the corner

I wish I was that mom, that rose early in the morning before the sun was up. Sipping coffee, in my yoga pants that fit perfectly hiding all the flaws. My hair up in the cute messy bun that you see on pintrest. Have you seen ? I have dozens of times trying recreate it , only to finish with what looks more like a sticky bun. Yea fail! 

Often times my morning starts out late , a hat on backwards, a banana on the way out , spilling coffee on myself trying to keep Gracie girls hands out of it and burning my child. My first sane moment of the day is when everyone is strapped in their seats, worship is playing and we are on the way to school. 

Its then I can sip my coffee, gaze at the road and pretty much filter everything out but the safety of the road. 

Except one particular morning I was stopped at the red on the corner of my neighborhood. I have taken that route for two years now never notice the lady with a red visor and yellow vest. I put my coffee down, slipped my sunglasses down and gave a good morning wave.

From then on we became wave friends ,she was my friend the crossing guard and I became the lady in the sequoia. We would give the good morning wave and smile as I passed every morning. 

This past Christmas, I decided to stop and give her a card . I pulled up and barely had time to slip her a card and exchange names before the light turned green . "I'm Andrea" she said. "Monica, Merry Christmas " as I drove off.

Since then there are some mornings sitting at the light I am busy with the day's thoughts that I hear from the back "mommy your friend is waving." 

Today we started our first day of summer. Just after breakfast I got the kids ready and told them we were going for a walk. "It's so early, can't we rest, can't we drive , where we going?" I explained that school was still in for the public school and we were going to meet the crossing guard that mommy waves too. 

Why? Asked Noah. "I don't know son, because every morning we wave to her and I would like to know who see is." Thats weird he said. "Yes it kinda sounds strange but sometimes God calls us to do strange things and I feel in my heart we should visit her this morning.

As we walked up to the light from across the street I hear her say "you are walking today!" I turned to see both my boys hiding behind me. Hahah , and I ain't going to lie I kinda felt like I wanted to hide, and heard the words of my son. "That's weird!" 

As we crossed , we talked how we only knew each other for a distance , I  got to know where she lived, how long she has been a crossing guard etc. Then she turned to me and said, "my sons in the car. He lost his father last week, my ex husband. He is sad, I am too.  

I'm alittle overwhelmed and just trying to keep busy ." It was alittle busy on the corner , I explained to her that I would pray for her , and her son. We exchanged numbers and she asked if she could join us on a walk or hang out  in the summer. 

Absolutely! Sometimes God will call us to do weird things. Sometimes He will put people in our path because He wants us to be His hands and feet. Often times our vision on serving God is so big , we can miss the opportunities to serve him in small ways. Like a little wave in the morning to a new friend. 

These little things can go a long way in someone's life. Would you take a moment today and allow God to use you in a weird way? Will you be open and do something thing that seems crazy. Maybe buy a stranger lunch. How about have a more meaningful conversation other than a "hi " with the person ringing you up at the store.

Or perhaps go out of the way to thank a faculty member at your child's school you never talk too. There is so many weird things you can do... Let be weirdos and see how God can move. 

Today as I walked away from Andrea, she was no longer the lady at the corner. She is a new friend, a friend that has a name. She was blessed that we made the effort to meet her , I am blessed to be able to pray for her. 

Would you mind praying for her and her son Ian. They can use it! 

Thank you! You Matter More than you think!

Mrs. Ripp - Caleb's Teacher

Miss Logston- Ashers Teacher

                             

I watched her get out of the car , strap on her little guy, while her other one grabs her backpack. Carrying a toddler on her chest , holding her daughters hand and carrying supplies for the classroom in the other. I wonder what her morning looked like and what time she had to start her day. 

Under those dark sunglasses hid tired eyes I'm sure. Holding onto the next remedy that would relieve morning sickness, she made her way to her class , I wonder how she makes it through a full day without barfing on her 1st graders. Where does she get the energy.

When my dad died, I wanted to just crawl up and shut out the world. She showed up to work with a peace and joy ready to tackle a day with her kindergartens. 

I can go on with the story's on how I have witness the countless self sacrifices, I see daily with the staff at the boys school. Some may think an occupation is not sacrificial. But I have to disagree when it come to being a teacher. 

You see when someone chooses to become a teacher, it's not because of the pay. In fact I believe that there would be more teachers if they got paid more. The other day someone asked me what my husband wanted to do after he graduated from the masters program at Biola. Sadly I said "well what he would love to do we cannot afford."

Truth is he would love to teach, but it would not pay enough to take care of the family needs. However he would be a great teacher.  

I know the teachers at the boys school are not getting rich. In fact I also know that many of them could be working in the public school and probably be making much more. But to them it's more that's a job it's ministry and its not work, but more serving. 

This week kicks off staff appreciation week. In light of that I wanted to share a letter I wrote a few years ago. 

Dear you,

You .... who should be our children's second teacher, but sometimes we get busy and put that burden of being their first on you. You see we should be our child's first teacher, but often you have to picked up where we have fallen short. Thank you!

Thank you for showing up every morning ready to pour into our children, when perhaps you are depleted from your own. Thank you for your time outside the classroom preparing lessons, prepping projects and grading papers. Time you don't want to take away from the kids in your class ,but more than likely time away from your own family. Certainly not being paid for it!

As a mom here is what I want you to know...

 I take my children and I leave them with you, because I trust you. I trust that you will love them, care for them, teach them, giving them back to me at the end of the day  . Not only are you helping them academically, but you are helping , me raise them for society. I could not do it without you. Your calling is a high one, you are touching the world by teaching the next generation on how to live, work, and play. We see the fruit of your labor. Your labor isn't easy, and knowing you have to do it for at least 20+ kids, makes me wonder how you do it?

I can imagine on some days you wonder if you are making a difference. Perhaps attitudes don't change, the test scores are not higher or that child will just not connect with you. Maybe today or tomorrow the fruit will not be revealed, but know that it is there.  And I know we don't say thank you enough for the things you have to put up with in the class. I do not take you for granted and Jesus ?.... Well he is pretty pleased with the care and love because , He is clear in his word on how special the little ones are to him. 

Thank you for being a mom nurturing them, when they are missing us. Thank you for being a friend when they need someone to play with. Thank you for being a coach when they need that push.  Thank you for being their cheerleader, when they need that encouragement. Thank you for being their nurse when they fall on the playground. Thank you for being that disciplinarian when they need correction.  Thank you for being like Jesus and showing them love! Thank you for being there when we cannot! 

One day when my child graduates from high school, and Lord willing college, I will remember each one of you and know you all had a hand in it. I want you to know that I'm praying for you. I'm praying that God would bless you abundantly, because although its a job that should pay millions it pays dollars and cents. I'm praying that my God would keep you healthy, as you wipe boogies, He would give you patience with those challenged by bad behavior and praying that the joy of teaching never leaves you heart. 

Why? Because we need you, we need people like you who care enough about our children to be teachers! We need you because you touch and make a difference in this world because you are called... Teacher!

Cant thank you enough,

A grateful Mom!

I give thanks for you making mention in my prayers..

Eph 1:16

Like a flood, with a purpose!

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with my Noah Asher. That morning I had dropped off my husband at the airport for his trip to Israel. I somewhat had a feeling, but in all the hustle and bustle to get him ready I didn't get a chance to take a test before he left.

That night after meeting my parents for dinner and barfing in the restroom  I took the test. Sure enough it was positive.

Well so , here I am with child and there he was on his way to the holy land. I decided to wait it out and surprise him with the news. That was the longest 12 days of my life. The night he came home a big group of us probably about 20 of us gathered at his gate with balloons and a huge banner that said "welcome home daddy". By the time he arrived we had attracted a bigger crowd of bystanders that wanted to wait around to see his reaction.

I'll never forget the look on his face as he rounded the corner coming down the escalator  , jet lagged and confusion written all over his face. He made it to the bottom , I stepped forward , he said "what" gave me a hug and whispered in my ear "I think I'm going to faint". We made it home, he rested his head on my tummy , we prayed and he cried himself to sleep.

Few months in, we found out that our boy had a kidney issue. It was one of those "common/not common" things. Because of this issue we decided that on the eve of my birthday 11/7 we would induce, not to go beyond the day he was due 11/9.

To speed up my labor, my doctor broke my water bag, to our surprise the water came out brown. Noah had pooped in the sac and that meant he was in some sort of distress. Immediately they started pumping me with fluids to flush out the sac. They called in the NICU staff to be on stand by. I pushed and true to his name, he came out with a flood of water. As a matter of fact they had to grab towels and mops to soak up the floor , but he came out quiet.

They didn't place him on my chest, they cut the umbilical cord from around his neck rushed him to the side and immediately started shoving some sort of contraption down his throat to clear whatever was there. It seems like it was eternity before I heard a peep out of him. He finally let out a squeal and they brought him to my face as the doctor worked below. I whispered "Yahweh is Lord" in his ear and they took him to the NICU. I only saw him for seconds and I watched him leave with my husband right behind. I asked the doctor if he would be ok, he said calming, he was fine.

It wasn't till a few hours later that I was able to see both my boys. After having low blood sugar, severe jaundice and a slight heart murmur we left 5 days later. My entrance to motherhood wasn't what I expected , but after six months of follow up appointments for his heart and kidney he was signed off with a clean bill of health and my faith was stronger due to the months of exercise.

Shortly after Noah was born, maybe three months after a friend of a friend found me at a morning bible study. She said that as she was worshiping, the Lord had given her a vision and scripture for a baby. Asking who it was it was revealed to her that it was my Noah.

She approached me with a piece of paper with the scriptures. She hadn't seen Noah yet, only hearing that we had a baby. She began to prophesied over him. He will be gentle like Joseph, strong like David. He will be gifted with worship and be a comfort to many. She was so excited to share her gift and I thought she was crazy. Still somewhat immature in my walk , I thought she probably got the juice from communion that was fermented.

She stopped looked me in the eyes and said " the Lord also showed me that the day , your son was born you whispered "yahweh is lord" in his ear. Then I , was looking for the fermented juice to drink! Fo real.. What! But I firmly believe that I needed to know that so that I would not doubt that what she was saying was from the Lord.

Noah has always been special, as a baby he would look to the heavens, smile and laugh. When he was a toddler, he would shhhhh me because "Jesus was sleeping" in the corner of his room. He said he played soccer with him at night. We would give him his bible upside down, he would always turn it right side up as small as six months. He would turn to the books before he could even pronounce them correctly. His prayers were beyond his years and he is gifted in memorizing scripture.

He defiantly has a heart to comfort, and a generous spirit about him. He is introverted which I feel can be mistaken as rude and shy which is hard for me to relate too. I am learning how to adapt and how to help him socially. He has a heart to serve, doesn't like to clean his room but loves to pitch in anywhere we go. He's well behaved ,but not perfect, well mannered ,but still is all boy and one thing is true is that he is a family dude.

At the tender age of newly eight today, he understands the importance of family. He is loyal, loving, all thing presidents and can't get enough of Legos. He loves his Lord, has a heart to worship and loves the God ok USA and history of it.

We are blessed at his quiet yet mature spirit and I could not imagine our family without him. Without a doubt the day he was formed in my womb, God had a plan and I am enjoying every minute of watching it unfold. I am forever grateful and changed that the Lord chose me to be his mom!

Noah means comfort and Asher means blessed or smiling one. If you know my Asher you know he smiles hard and that smile lights a part of my heart that only he can.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy! Mommy loves you!

On the eve of forty

On the eve of my 40th birthday I am not sure I want to drop kick it to the face or embrace it and hug it like a long lost friend. 

On one hand the thought of being out of high school for 22 years makes me seem old ,but the fact that every morning I woke up for last 40 years is a gift I should embrace. Some haven't been so blessed. 

If you asked me in my teen years what I'd be doing at 40, id probably tell you I would be playing basketball in the wnba. In my 20's id say sitting in my office for AT&T still taking long "working" lunches and still loving my honey. My 30's well that's when things would start to change. I'd say raising a boy or two, still loving my honey and possibly be a stay at home mom, and involved in ministry. 

Well here we are on the eve of 40! I am laying here in sweat shorts, my husbands shirt,  watching a sweet little girl sleep. My house is tore up, my two boys are at an amazing school that we are somehow affording to pay. My body stretched, scared, gray, and flabby. But it's ok I am still using the I just had a baby card. My office is my home and paycheck comes in hugs.

I never knew what forty would looked like and I never could have wrote it any better. Has getting to forty been easy? Absolutely not! We have lost way too many loved ones, hit lots of dark valleys, experience many disappointments,  and struggled through emotional, mental, financial, and physical pain. 

But here is what I can say about forty, although my body aches from lack of sleep, my house looks like El Niño arrived, we have some bills heading into the 60 day mark from Gracie's birth there is great peace. 

I've learned at 40 that every year before it was written out way before I was born. When the Lord formed me in that precious strong lady I call mom, He knew what forty would look like for me. He knew I would one day be here in this house , entrusted with a loving husband and three children that call me mom, well kinda.

So the day I was born he started my training. Everything whether it seemed good or bad, has been to prepare me for this day and the days ahead.

The reality of life is that I have no idea how many birthdays the Lord has for me. And for me, I realize that our time is precious and short in compared to eternity. So for me forty doesn't look like the dirty house or the rundown tent I occupy.

Here is what my forty looks like. It looks like hope, hope that one day I can stand before the Lord with confidence that I took care of the people he trusted me with. That my arrows he placed in my quiver would hit the target. That the man he gave me I respected and loved him as His child. 

It looks like love, I love people. The boys are always asking why I talk to everyone. I love to love. I love waving to the crossing guard every morning as I drive by that I have never met. I love dinner dates, coffee dates and any time I can sit across the cutest four year old to the hurting 50 year old. 

It looks like peace, despite circumstances, hurts or failures I have peace that "He who has begun a new work has not completed it" so I rest in the fact that God is not done with me. So there is Grace.

It looks like faith, I don't know what tomorrow holds , but I know who holds it. It is because of my testimony and what God has done in my life that my faith is stronger than a mustard seed.

So here's to 40 and praying for many more! And as always I want to thank my mom that 40 years ago she chose life. And to all my family, friends , strangers I've met... Thank you loving me and helping me be who I am today!!!

So let's eat cake!!!! Xoxoxo 
Moni