Letter to Baby B's Mommy

Tonight your head will hit the pillow, comfortably or as comfortable as a 9 month pregnant lady can be. Tomorrow could be different. Today a lady, tomorrow potentially a mommy. A mommy, no greater sound in the world.

There is just comfort that comes along with the sound of "mommy" and yet also fear and great responsibility. Am I going to be good enough? Will I know what to do? Can I do this? Will I jack up my kid? Oh yes and the list no short of how did I end up here on some days... Truth!

Its been said that, a child fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty. Its true, you will see, once you see his face, hold him, kiss him and be his mom, you will wonder how on earth did you survive without him.

Children are a heritage of the Lord, being a mommy is the highest calling any lady could have. It is an honor and a privilege to be able to take care of these little beings that belong to the Lord and take care of them as they are on loan to us. Remember that, remember that they first belong to God and it will ease the fear when they are sick or hurting. He will take care of them and show you how to be a mother.

On the days when you think that you can no longer give, remember that you can because YOU are a mother. On days when you feel like your work in the house goes unnoticed (because, trust you will, give it time. TRUTH!) remember that God sees. On days when your house is a mess, the floors are not swept, and dinner is take out, remember that its ok, time with your child is more important. On days when the only energy you have left to do is cry, know its ok. On days when you want a do over, because it just wasn't a good day, there is always tomorrow.

A friend once told me that "Children grow up, not their toys." I think about that often when I am freaking out about trying to clean up their room, instead of sitting on the floor playing with them. Listen to your gut, it never lies. Pray all the time and trust in the Lord, He never fails. Will you fail? Um maybe, but each day is new and saying sorry never gets old.

Remember that just like the changing of the season ( that we don't get in california but stay with me for a second) so is parenting. There will be good seasons and lets just say "growing" seasons. It is the growing seasons that have taught me how to be a better mother. You will be stretched but not be broken.

I cant wait for Baby Broxton to come. I cannot wait for him to come into this world and steal your heart. Because you know that little boys do right? They just touch you in the inter most part of your heart and leave lasting impressions. Parenthood is amazing, watching your babies grow and see their personalities unfold is the best. And now you will have someone to take care of you when you get old and change your diaper.. yes, score!

I am excited for you, praying for you and come along side you as you enter a new journey in your life. My advice is simple:

Pray all the time.. Love without ceasing.. Trust God with your baby.. Be Patient with them, we are all still a work in progress.. Forgive & Forget quickly! Be Open and don't be afraid to ask for help!

Love you,

Moni

Simple truths from the steps of time out

He sat there, with tears in his eyes trying to convince me that the reason he was making bad choices and not doing the right thing was because of his brother. When he saw that I was not buying into his case, he surrendered his argument and said "I am trying to be a good boy and do the right things, but I am just not." A few more minutes later and a revelation that I cannot argue with he says " I know, it is my sin nature."

And there my friends is when the Lord spoke to me on the stairs of time out. You see my four year old boys plea is no different from the cry of his mother. Oh Lord, I am trying to be a good wife, or oh Lord I am trying to eat better, Oh Lord I am trying to get the energy to exercise but I am just not. Making excuses why I am not doing what I need to do, when the reality is that I am fighting with the flesh and the ways of my sinful nature.

" Son you are right, we need to pray and ask Jesus to help us." The solution and prayer was simple. I can go into the scripture and turn this blog into a study, but sometimes we need to keep it as simple as a four year old understands.

Oh Lord, help me to do the right things,

Mon

Just do it!

As she passed me the tea, she said " you know what I realize? I don't need another conference as we sit here at one. " she chuckled and proceeded. " I know what to do, I just need to do it." I wanted to pretend that I didn't hear what she said, but it hit me in the inter most part of my heart.

My friend was right, and we don't need another *conference, another workshop, read another book, read another blog. We know what we need to do the problem is doing it. Now, I am not implying that those things aren't beneficial to our walk. The truth is if nothing else were to exist, the bible is all we need. It is packed with so much application for life and how we should live.

The disciples didn't have conferences, retreats or books on how to follow Jesus. They didn't read blogs on how to cast out demons. They didn't spend to much time planning out their next events. They just went out in prayer and did!

I can read articles and books on how to become a good runner, but if I never strap the shoes on and go out there, I will never know. So often we spend so much time preparing or we don't feel equipped enough that we fail to do anything at all. Experience will always out weigh text book! I never earned my degree in college, I just wasn't the school type. I worked my way up in the company in a position that most need a degree for. I attended leadership classes, trainings on how to be a great manager and how to lead the team. They were great but over the years in my managing I learned more in the every day interactions than in the class rooms. I learned so much by going out there and getting dirty if you will.

There were times that I was afraid of fail, to step out and try something different. This caused me to step out of my comfort zone many of times. Today as a stay at home mom, my days are not comfortable. I am still afraid of failing but I cannot find peace in the regret of not trying. God has called me to be a wife to my husband, a mom to my children and a care taker to my grandma. Is it to much, sometimes? Yes it is. Am I tired most of the time? Yes I am.

But here is the thing. God has called me for a purpose. He has ordained this time in my life and because of that He has equipped me. So instead of me starting in the books, blogs, workshops etc. on how to fulfill my calling, God wants me to step out of the boat and do my calling. We will never fulfill what God has for us if, we spend to much time in the classroom and not in the field. Its plain and simple.

Better yet, imagine yourself as a construction worker. You are out on the field going to build this building. You have a ton of tools to help you build this building that will used for a school. So what do you do? Do you show up sit around and wait for the tools to build this school? No way, you need to get in there pick them up and start the labor. Are there mistakes along the way? Sure, I watch HGTV enough to tell you that there is ALWAYS a problem.. BUT there is always a work around to achieve the end product. Now imagine if you never picked up that tool? Imagine if that school was never built. One of those children could be our future president, one of those children could be the person who discovers a cure for cancer.

If I sacrifice my calling as a mom to my child, because I am afraid of failing, or better yet lazy? Who knows what blessing they will miss out on. Are you being called for something? Perhaps you need to step out of the boat and put your faith into action. Stop reading about how to Fill in the blank and just go out there and do..With prayer of course!

*Disclaimer- I am in no way implying that conferences, retreats, books, blogs are not good or helpful. But if you are not applying what you are learning to your walk and putting your faith into action, then it is a just a waste of time and money..

The Invisible Women

I had the opportunity this weekend to attend a When leaders lead conference. I CANNOT even begin to find the words or the thoughts to tell you how amazing and life changing it was. I will leave that for another day, another blog. I sat in on a "Balancing Ministry and Motherhood" workshop and this poem was read to us.

I am not sure that I have heard it before because it sounded familiar, but as it was being read, tears from moms one by one began to fall. Motherhood is the most important ministry a lady can have and its tough and sometimes we feel forgotten.

If you are a mom and feeling forgotten and invisible take a second to read this:

"The Invisible Women, When only God Sees" by Nicole Johnson

It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, 'Who is that with you, young fella?' 'Nobody,' he shrugged. Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, 'Oh my goodness, nobody?'

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like 'Turn the TV down, please' - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, 'Would someone turn the TV down?' Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, 'I'm ready to go when you are.' He just kept right on talking.

That's when I started to put all the pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me.

I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'mon the phone?' Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going... she's going... she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.'

That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Loving all my invisible mommies!!!!

Countdown to the 5k Challenge!

Think you cant make a difference? 40 bucks, fresh pair of legs, and 3.1 miles and a willing heart can make difference for childhood cancer.

We individually cannot find a cure, but we can help those who are trying to. We are about 8 weeks away from Cinco De Mayo 5k in Irvine. All money raised in this 5k will be used for research. You have been challenged.. If you are reading this I am challenging you to get off the couch and help make a difference.

Our team "Runners for Grace" needs your support.. I am faithful if there is only two of us, I will be there. I will be there walking/running or crawling remembering and celebrating Gracie and others battling.

Its not to late to start to train for running and we all can walk! Pray and take action!

Click here for details of the challenge. I will have more details in the next few days.!

xoxox

Moni

10 things daddy should know about mommy raising boys!

A few weeks ago I asked my hubby to guest blog " what ever daddy wants mommy to know" you can read it here. I had already had this post blogged a few weeks prior but waited to post it. As you can see we both took two different approaches. I love it though!

Ten things every daddy should know about a mommy raising boys

1. The bed is never to small for one more. If so, we will gladly make up the couch for you.

2. Yes, no child has ever been hurt by “crying it out”, but why take a chance? He will always be picked up.

3. The person who said that being in the arms to much wasn't good, didn't get held much! 4.We will always be their first girlfriend.Period.The end

5. There is some sort of cosmic reaction that happens in those big eyes of his that just screams YES! Making it impossible to say no sometimes.

6. Yes, it is necessary to run on the field to make sure he is ok! I earned that right the day I labored him!

7. No we are not a restaurant, but having options is good, we cant let him go to bed hungry, he might have nightmares.

8. You say “momma’s boy” like its a bad thing? As long as it is not tattooed on any part of his body, we are ok!

9. Yes, he is going to wear that today, we have been practicing outfit coordination since we were four, and our dolls never complained!

10. No one will ever love our boys like we do, and when a girl comes in and steals his heart, have patience with us till the meltdown subsides

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully [and] wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And [that] my soul knows very well.”

Psalm 139:14

They are our boys, wonderfully and handcrafted by the Lord specially for our raising. Although they come into this world and capture our hearts, We know that they belong to the Lord. Understanding that we will always handle them with the gentle care, loving discipline and God’s guidance.

Boys have a special calling and a special place in their mommys heart. It is our promise that we will nurture them with Gods word so that when they become men they will lead a life pleasing to God.

“I have written to you, young men, Because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, And you have overcome the wicked one.”

1 John 2:14

Oh and one last thing.. No matter how old they get they will ALWAYS be our babies!

"all the single mommys"

I found myself singing "all the single ladies.. all the single ladies.. " in my not so Beyonce voice "uh uh oh.. uh uh oh.. uh uh oh.." this weekend. You see my husband left me and the kids for the weekend to spend the weekend with 90 high school kids at winter camp.

I experienced just a small glimpse of what it is like to be a single mom of two. So after an afternoon at the park in the sun, why I thought it was a good idea to move my bedroom furniture around, still baffles me. Perhaps the thought of the two actually helping me move my bed, crossed the mind. Instead it was a two hour adventure that ended up as my mattress being a slide. Don't believe me, take a look at captain hook and his buddy climbing the plank!

But on a serious note this blog isn't about me and the two little rascals that were being tossed around by a mattress ( yup, that really happened a few times, shhh don't tell daddy). This blog is about you, the few.

Single moms this letter is for you,

I find myself complaining to much about how tired I am, when this weekend I realized how tired you must be. To not only be a mother, but also a father, the sole financial support for you and your kids, can weigh heavy on your heart sometimes. My mom was a single mom for a time and I don't think that I appreciated it. I don't think that I did, because she made it look easy.

You make it look easy. I'm kinda shameful to admit that I probably complain more than you do. How you manage to get the kids to school, work a full day and come home to start the homework, cooking, baths etc. is amazing to me. You are truly gifted! Being a mother is such a high calling, and just being a mom is hard enough. When you are called to carry the burdens of an absent father as well, I gather can be taxing.

I want you to know that your job does not go unnoticed. I appreciate you, your kids appreciate you and God loves you. God has called you to be a mother to his children. What a honor and privilege to raise the Lords children. But I want you to remember one thing that you are also Gods child and He also takes care of his children and he will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28 says "come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." The labor that we have endured when we gave birth did not end the day our children were born. Everyday as a mother we labor, and I recognize as a working mother you labor a little more. Forgive me for complaining. Forgive me for taking my job as a stay at home mom for granted.

May God bless you, give you strength and give you rest! Thank you for pushing me to be a better mom. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!!!!

Walking through the wilderness

Has God ever taken you to a place where you thought to yourself, " Lord I'm not sure why im here, couldn't there have been an easier way?" This could possibly be true, however it is these labor trips that produce faith.

You can be sure that if the Lord takes you through the wilderness, He will also be your tour guide. We see this with Moses when he led the people out of Egypt, God took them the long wilderness way. Bible tells us that God knew going the "shorter" or "easy" way would not fulfill His purpose for these people, sending them back to Egypt immediately.

Now although we walk through the wilderness sometimes, you have to know we are not alone. God is still directing and leading day and night, we see that in Exodus.

"And the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night. He did not take away the pillar of cloud by day or the pillar of fire by night from before the people. (Exodus 13:21, 22 NKJV)"

We can learn so much about walking through the wilderness from these people. The problem with these people that left with Moses, was that they never reached the promise land. Why? Because they lacked faith, complained and didn't trust Gods plan.

It's not a matter if you will be taken through the wilderness, but when. Even Jesus went to the wilderness. In the book of John, it tells us that after He was baptized, He went into the wilderness for 40 days to pray and tempted by the enemy.

How will you walk? Will you complain? Or will you pray? I hope you pray. I hope you trust in Gods plan and purpose for a wilderness walk.