Marriage and hitting 10!

He said, I only have an hour. She said, I have less than that to be home before he gets home. He could be on his lunch break, and she could be talking about her son. As I rolled by pushing the boys she looked up at me and I knew they were in sin.

As he got out of his car into her car in the parking lot, I knew two families were being torn apart by adultery. My mind immediately wanted to judge, but my heart was sad for what was taking place. She could be me, and he could be my husband. In a world filled with temptation, it could also be you or your husband. Marriage is Gods thing, the vows you take are not only to each other but to God. Satan hates God and anything belonging to him.

Many years ago talking with a young lady about her struggles, insecurities and her marriage, she asked me. "Do you ever fear your husband cheating on you?" I said " girl, if he does, he needs to answer not to me, but to God, so for this I don't fear." I was only married for a year at this time.

This year Sal and I will celebrate 10years, Lord willing in October. Here is what I've learned, simply having God as your foundation is not enough, marriage takes labor. Now having God as your foundation is a must, but you must also do the work... And ladies I mean literally, keeping your man satisfied is included! (oh Lord, I didn't know I was going to be this bold on here, oh well I'm keeping it real!)

Now, I am not claiming to have a perfect marriage, Lord KNOWS it is, because we are not perfect people, it's impossible! So here are a few things to keep in mind, if you are struggling with your marriage....

1. Prayer... You need to pray for your husband and be in prayer for your marriage every day!

2. Communicate- yup we all know this one, but with a busy family it's hard to really communicate effectively. Just recently, we implemented Sunday soup night. We put the kids to bed, grabbed bread bowls filled them with soup and sat at the table at 830 at night talking for two hours.

3. Date your husband- having date nights are essential, this year we have made a conscious effort to have a date night at least once a month. Id imagine as the kids get older we will increase them but right now this works for us.

4. Keep it alive and fresh.. Chickabowow... You know what I'm saying, just do it! Literally.. ( hahah my hubby is going to kill me when he reads this blog... So what I don't kerr) A friend of mine has kept a group of us accountable with challenges, perhaps you also need that in this area.

5. Read together- my hubby and I not only read the psalms together at night, but we go through a book together, he reads and I listen ( or sometimes doze off ) but we have read some really great devotional books together.

6. Keep asking questions- don't stop learning about your husband. You'll be amazed with things you learn so many years later

7. Serve him- remember that taking care of your children doesn't mean you are taking care of him. I struggled with this for a long time. I though as long I was attentive to the kids he would be happy. We have to serve our husbands with the same love and joy that we serve our kids.

8. He cries to- Remember they have feelings to. I know that as the sole provider of our home, my husband carries the burdens of our family. Because he is a male, doesn't mean he doesn't worry about the things we do. When he looks down or tired, help him carry the load.

9. Encourage him- Let him know he is appreciated, let him know you are proud to be his wife and let him know he is doing a good job. A simple text goes along way, but a whisper in the ear goes farther..

10. You are a team -Let him do the dishes, laundry or clean the bathroom if he offers. Being a stay at home mom, I feel that it's my job, but I lay down my pride and let him to it. Why? Because he feels like he is doing his part in the home, and thus makes us a team.

Ladies, I can go on and on and I'm sure that you can to, but know that we are a work in progress and so are our marriages. I didn't anticipate this blog being so long, I guess because there is just so much to say about marriage. May God protect our marriages, I am praying for them, and I hope you will to!

I thought I would share our wedding picture since we are heading for 10!

Dont worry, we aint gansta... we paid for the photos, but we also got the CD, with proofs! This was October 13, 2002

Love you!
Moni

Just do it!

As she passed me the tea, she said " you know what I realize? I don't need another conference as we sit here at one. " she chuckled and proceeded. " I know what to do, I just need to do it." I wanted to pretend that I didn't hear what she said, but it hit me in the inter most part of my heart.

My friend was right, and we don't need another *conference, another workshop, read another book, read another blog. We know what we need to do the problem is doing it. Now, I am not implying that those things aren't beneficial to our walk. The truth is if nothing else were to exist, the bible is all we need. It is packed with so much application for life and how we should live.

The disciples didn't have conferences, retreats or books on how to follow Jesus. They didn't read blogs on how to cast out demons. They didn't spend to much time planning out their next events. They just went out in prayer and did!

I can read articles and books on how to become a good runner, but if I never strap the shoes on and go out there, I will never know. So often we spend so much time preparing or we don't feel equipped enough that we fail to do anything at all. Experience will always out weigh text book! I never earned my degree in college, I just wasn't the school type. I worked my way up in the company in a position that most need a degree for. I attended leadership classes, trainings on how to be a great manager and how to lead the team. They were great but over the years in my managing I learned more in the every day interactions than in the class rooms. I learned so much by going out there and getting dirty if you will.

There were times that I was afraid of fail, to step out and try something different. This caused me to step out of my comfort zone many of times. Today as a stay at home mom, my days are not comfortable. I am still afraid of failing but I cannot find peace in the regret of not trying. God has called me to be a wife to my husband, a mom to my children and a care taker to my grandma. Is it to much, sometimes? Yes it is. Am I tired most of the time? Yes I am.

But here is the thing. God has called me for a purpose. He has ordained this time in my life and because of that He has equipped me. So instead of me starting in the books, blogs, workshops etc. on how to fulfill my calling, God wants me to step out of the boat and do my calling. We will never fulfill what God has for us if, we spend to much time in the classroom and not in the field. Its plain and simple.

Better yet, imagine yourself as a construction worker. You are out on the field going to build this building. You have a ton of tools to help you build this building that will used for a school. So what do you do? Do you show up sit around and wait for the tools to build this school? No way, you need to get in there pick them up and start the labor. Are there mistakes along the way? Sure, I watch HGTV enough to tell you that there is ALWAYS a problem.. BUT there is always a work around to achieve the end product. Now imagine if you never picked up that tool? Imagine if that school was never built. One of those children could be our future president, one of those children could be the person who discovers a cure for cancer.

If I sacrifice my calling as a mom to my child, because I am afraid of failing, or better yet lazy? Who knows what blessing they will miss out on. Are you being called for something? Perhaps you need to step out of the boat and put your faith into action. Stop reading about how to Fill in the blank and just go out there and do..With prayer of course!

*Disclaimer- I am in no way implying that conferences, retreats, books, blogs are not good or helpful. But if you are not applying what you are learning to your walk and putting your faith into action, then it is a just a waste of time and money..