I disconnected to connect!

Deactivate.... And then it got silent, the window was closed and I officially became disconnected from the Facebook world. Social media the beautiful disaster, for some relationships are reconnect, bonds are mended, but for others communication only comes from status updates. Time is spent in front of a screen, feelings are suppressed because you don't want to let the world how you are really feeling. You can know so much about a person through their wall, but really not know them at all.

A wise friend once told me "don't waste the sacrifice." I get to stay home with my kids, in order to do that we make sacrifices. We don't shop the way we "want", we don't vacation where we "want", but God has never failed to provide what we need. Sitting in front a computer screen while my kids run crazy for 45 mins is a waste of sacrifice. Laying with my boys during nap time going through my phone, wondering what everyone is doing is wasting my sacrifice. Driving in the car with my family with my nose in the phone insteading of enjoying the sound of my son singing is wasting my sacrifice. Family gathering, fellowships and playing on the phone is wasting my sacrifice.

I felt connected but really was disconnected. I had to disconnect from social media to reconnect to what really matters... My life, faith, food and fitness! Im not hating on Facebook at all, I'll be back with moderation but for the season im in right now there isn't time. Its been a few weeks now, and in that time I've given the Lord a laundry list of things that need to change.. My eating, my exercising, my devotional time, and the list goes on and on... And in His gentle small voice He says "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33 NKJV)"

Right now I find myself in the middle of a crazy season, I pushed myself so hard for that half marathon, and pushed and stretched that I crashed and burned. What happen? What got lost? I tell you living a life of consistency. Slow and steady at a reasonable pace will always win the race. I have blogged about it before, this life is a marathon, not a 100 meter dash, or a short race. A complicated life will leave you tired and weary. Jesus loves simple. A simple life is what he requires, and I can be anything but simple sometimes.

I started this blog December of 2009 and my goal was to be in pursuit of a life centered around faith, food and fitness. Friends its two years later and I am still trying to figure it out. Im not perfect, I fail but im not giving up. Bible says "being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; (Philippians 1:6 NKJV)" Every good work, takes labor. I'm starting the labor again. For those faithful few that read would you please keep me in prayer as I labor. I am setting goals, I believe they are important and needed. I'll talk about goal setting tomorrow.

Paul in the book of phillipians didn't allow his present circumstances hinder his purpose of sharing the gospel, and blessing other. Are you in the need of prayer? Are you in a difficult season? You want to go along the journey with me? Let me know, I want to pray for you, go with you, cry with you, rejoice with you!

To another year of faith, food and fitness,
Love you guys
Moni

My Marathon Stats!

People say that just finishing is sufficient but the competitive nature in me still looked over the stats, and think that I could have done better! But there is always next time ;) did I say that? Just like labor once the soreness wore off I am ready to do it again!!! Here are some interesting facts about my run..

I came in:
7833rd place in the entire 1/2 Marathon field ( men & women any age) 2882 finished behind me, 73% ahead of me
4125th among women doing the 1/2 Marathon, 2174 finished behind me, 65% ahead of me
738th place in my age division ( 35-39) Darn I missed the younger division by one year! 324 behind me, 65% ahead

Out 10,715 people who finished the 1/2 marathon 59% were women and 41% were men
I passed 929 runners, and 64 passed me

My pace was 12:59 per mile and I finished in 2 Hr 50 min 4 sec

I was at mile 3 when the overall winner ( a male) finished the entire 1/2 marathon (whatthe?)
I was at mile 4 when the first women finished the entire 1/2 marathon
I was at mile 5 when the first person in my age group finished the entire 1/2 marathon!

So there it is in the books.. On to the next one!

Faith Racing

Please forgive me if this blog is long, and if you make it to the end thank you in advance!

I received my BIB on Saturday night and I aint going to lie, when I say that the words "half marathon" on the top terrified me. What in the world was I thinking. I went to bed at 11pm and as I laid there trying to fall asleep I cleaned out pictures on my phone. I noticed a picture of my treadmill that was taken back at the end of February. It was a picture of my time it said three miles @ 1 hour 10 minutes. Wow, I am not sure when it happen but over the course of the last five months I went from 23 minute miles to 10 minute miles.

And so we set out at 4:30am in the morning to long beach on only two hours of sleep, surprisingly I was not to nervous or tired. I proudly wore my pink shirt to honor my mom, and bring awareness to breast cancer. And on the right side of my shirt I ironed on a "G" so that I remembered to take Gracie with me. I lined up with my dad, brother and my brothers girl friend who were also running the race.

As it got closer for our wave to start people started to file in and then it became real and totally claustrophobic. There was so many people, doubt started to creep in and then it was right in front of me " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13..

This man was wearing a shirt from Team 413 a Christian running ministry who wear the shirts to spread the gospel and give encouragement. This scripture happens to be my life scripture and it was divine timing that I was behind this gentleman at the start of the race.

I decided to flick some pictures and document my run, since some of you have followed my journey along the way. It only seemed appropriate for those involved in Operation Pledge Prayer. It was so beautiful out there, the course was amazing, the weather couldn't be better. As I approached mile five, I couldn't help but think of Gracie. I posted a pic of mile five with the caption " The first five were for Gracie". It wasn't till now that I remember that the number five in numerology is the number of "Grace".

There were moments when I was running that It became emotional. I cried, I laughed and I prayed alot. All the runners were great on the course, so friendly. One lady asked if I was ok because I was crying, not able to say much I said yes "God is good". When I was running I felt the prayers of all those praying for me. In the five months of training, I have never had a better day of breathing. That has always been my struggle and that day, I had never experienced breathing that came so natural.


When I approached mile six I was greeted with, I think is my biggest fan. It was just the boost that I needed. There stood Noah and daddy, and I could see the excitement in his face that made my heart smile.

Well friends I wish I could say it was smooth sailing from there but then I hit the wall! I mean big time. Miles 7 through 10 I believe were all ran on the beach on the bike path. When I hit mile 8, I thought that I had already ran that mile and when I realized I didn't it freaked me out. I started to see people stopping to stretch, made me wonder if I should. Then I looked ahead it there was no end to the sea of runners. Doubt started to sink in, my legs started to get tight, I started to get a cramp and I had to stop to use the potty. For a second I started to feel lonely but there were thousands of people around.

This can also relate to our race of faith. When I started to look to the right and left ( other runners) and instead of up I started to feel like Peter when he got out of the boat and started to sink. Then mix that with doubt and my physical circumstances it was a recipe for disaster. When I could not see that there was a mile marker ahead and the road looked long I started to panic. I didn't want to stop running, but when I got to mile nine, my feet started to burn.

Like really bad, every step felt like torture. So I started to walk and pray, I prayed for Noah, Elias, Sheanne and Sarah. My present circumstances were nothing to the things they face daily. I am sure there are times when their "Miles" seem long. Finally I approached mile ten. Then I resurfaced and snapped another picture, sent it to facebook. I had been silent since mile six, just like in life there are times when the Lord has us in a place of still. When we feel like we are lonely and the present time seems tough, but it was those miles that I will remember. Those miles made me stronger. Miles five through ten where labor, labor for operation pledge prayer.

And if I am being honest, the nice man passing out donut holes at mile ten gave me the boost that I needed. It was at mile 11 that I saw another team 413 runner and I knew that the Lord was speaking to me. I walked miles 9 through 11 so I feel that like my body recovered somewhat, so I started to run.

As I turned the corner and saw the finish line, there were thousands of people on both side of the street. It felt like a movie, I didn't hear anything other than the worship from my ipod and I didn't see anything but the words "finish line". There was no greater feeling, I simply heard my Lord say " you finished well". Many start the race, not many finish and even fewer finish well.

Now it was time to locate the family, but how in thousands of people? As I came around the corner to leave the corral where all the racers were I saw Mike & Anna Aroz standing there. And I didn't at the time, but am now... crying. There she was wearing her button with a picture of Gracie and it just completed the day.

I have been reflecting the last two days and it seemed like I was training forever but the race was so quick. I looked over the course map and it still amazes me that I completed the run. All and I mean ALL Glory goes to God! I will never take credit because I am weak, I hated running and I doubt to much.

Today I take joy in achieving a goal, that I know that I was not capable of, but only through the support of my husband, friends, family, prayers and the Lord. I am excited for more things to come. I know that there are more plans in the works for FFF and children's cancer.

And now I thank you.. I thank you for taking time in reading my blogs. I thank you for praying for me, but more importantly praying for my warriors. Please don't stop, please I know they feel them, I did. I was so humbled and overwhelmed by the calls, texts, FB
comments I received. Thank you from the bottom of my heart..

Also if I can ask for a favor, check out this ministry.. They are truly making an impact on the course. You just don't know how much of a difference a shirt with scripture can make when all you have is that to cling to..

http://www.team413.org/

If you are lead to buy a shirt, and who knows maybe one day you will wear it on a run and someone will be encouraged. If you missed that, I am challenging you.. :) But more to come..!
Will leave you with this gorge pic!




I will stop I know this is really long.. I will post stats tomorrow.. Night.. love you all!!!

Late for the race

We searched up and down for the street. I cant imagine this is where the race starts, there are no people. "wait here, I'm going to go check" my hubby replies. As I am feeding Caleb cheerios, he runs back " hurry it started." I looked at my watch and it was 7:45am.

I started to run like I never ran before, see I remember the rules said that no one could start the marathon later than 7:40. But perhaps if I just made it there they would make the exception. I saw the starting line, and I was running as hard as I could but there was a problem. I was not moving, no matter how hard I was running, my legs were moving but my body wasn't. What the heck the starting line was so close yet I could not get to it. It was just as I was on the verge of tears, I woke up.

It was my dream last night. I have exactly 11 days till my half marathon. And as I said it before to some it is just 13.2 miles but to me it seems like a 100. To be honest it is starting to mentally trip me out. Ive trained but not the conventional way. I didn't join a team, I am a team of one. I didn't follow the training guideline, but I did the best I could with our schedules. I don't have a coach, but I have Jesus.

I have experienced, knee pain, ankle pain, toe pain and have struggled the last month with bad lower back pain!

By faith, prayers and with a purpose I am pressing on. I am doing it to remember Gracie, I am doing it so that Noah can have a long life, I am doing it for Elias so one day he can be on the field again playing with his team. I am doing it for Sarah, because she just had another round of chemo. I am doing it for you! Because I asked that you would pray if I ran and you did and still are (I hope).

I am doing it because I don't have a cure for cancer but I have legs that work. I am doing it because I have faith in my God that laboring will provide a good work. He knows my struggles, He knows my weakness. I thought I would have blogged more about my journey but as I trained I realized that this time was some personal intimate time with the Lord.

Running for me isn't physical, I know if my mind tells my body to do it, it will. I remember back to one of my first blogs, when I celebrated running longer than 4 minutes and today I can do mile after mile. It has been through the power of the Holy Spirit, prayers and the examples of strength for the ones I am running for.

I thank you for praying, the last few days I have felt them. I truly have, I have a ton of distractions with schedules, ministry etc. that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed but I am somehow find some calm in the midst.

Please don't stop praying for my friends. Operation Pledge Prayer shouldn't end the day I finish my 13.2 miles. Please continue to pray for my pals that are battling, and all the others that have this terrible disease.

Love you all,
Mon

Cancer didn't win and it will never win, because being with the Father is winning!

A few days ago, before bed I was praying with my three year old. When we got done praying our conversation went like this:

Noah: Mommy we forgot to pray for Gracie, so that she feels better.
Me: Oh son Gracie isn't sick anymore
Noah: She feels better now mommy?
Me: Yes son she is better, she is healed no more sickies
Noah: Her mommy and daddy made her feel better mommy?
Me: Yes son her daddy, Jesus healed her.
Noah: Oh thank you Jesus!!!!.... Mommy we also forgot one more person.. spiderman boy!

Such innocence, yet so comforting to me. You see the other day when I found out that she passed I was sad, like really sad. I guess my prayers were selfish for her and her family. I never asked for her to be healed eternally, only for us all to see a miracle. I prayed that this 17 year old beautiful girl, would get up from her bed and walk. Would awake cancer free and hear the words of Jesus telling her that she had been healed. That one day she would be married, have kids and a wonderful life serving the Lord.

So it crushed me, but the innocence of a child and a teen has showed me how to truly rejoice and know that the will of the father was done. Noah taught me to give thanks to the Lord for he has healed her! After I heard the news, I was also a little upset, not with anyone but with cancer. That day I cried out to the Lord and told Him that I was tired of another losing the battle with cancer. I believe my words were like this " I hate cancer, it is from the pit of hell, I am sick of it."

Shortly after that I read a tweet of one of Gracie's good friends and she said this:

"Some may think the cancer won, but it didn't. It lost. I know this to be true because, the moment Gracie walked through those pearly white gates and into the arms of Jesus, she was healed forever. #TakeThatCancer" - Vanessa Contreras

I have been thinking alot about Gracie and her battle. I heard a message on Wednesday night that was Gods appointed time. It was in the book of Romans chapter 8 starting from verse 18-28. I was reminded that the sufferings of today are nothing for what awaits us in heaven. Gracie's smile may no longer be here on earth, but will be forever embedded in our hearts. Her legacy lives with her amazing strength and faith that she had in her " Last days." I believe that many will come to know the love of the father through her story.

I pray that in our last days that we to can live an extraordinary life, rejoicing in our circumstances, having unwavering faith and finishing well.. I thank my son for shows me how important it is to give thanks to Jesus always. I thank Vanessa for reminding me that Cancer didn't win and it will never win, because being with the Father is winning! I thank Gracie, although I never got the chance to really know you, you have touched my life.

You have taught me how to fight through the pain and never lose heart or faith. Please keep the Aroz family in your prayers, please keep Gracie's siblings, her aunts and everyone one else that love Gracie so much as well. Also for those of you that read this blog that are not on facebook below are the details of her memorial:

GRACIE AROZ MEMORIAL SERVICE will be held at Calvary Chapel Golden Springs Diamond Bar, CA. September 10th, 2011 at 6:00 pm. 22324 Golden Springs Drive, Diamond Bar, CA. 91765-2449. In lieu of flowers, a fund has been set by Calvary Chapel Montebello to aid defray expenses For more information, please call Calvary Chapel Montebello @ 323.724.8464

Thank you for your support.. I have only 5 weeks till my marathon, so please keep praying! Operation pledge prayer!
XOXOX
Mon

To everything there is a season

Several weeks ago in my reading a scripture stood out. Thinking that it was for a different purpose so I text it to a friend. It wasn't and over the last month or so I have seen it in my reading, on blogs, on facebook and even on a card that I randomly picked up. It could only mean one thing it was meant for me.

"To everything [there is] a season, A time for every purpose under heaven"- ECC 3:1

It has been one crazy season I tell you, working around ministry schedules, marathon training, maintaining the home on zero sleep, Noah's testing and Caleb is just straight crazy!!! It has me asking... Lord what the heck is going on up in here!

Webster definition of season is this:

"an indefinite period of time" or a "time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature"

This particular season has tested my faith, proved that I don't have it all together, realize there is still so much I need to learn about being a Godly wife, a patient mom, a better friend, and a better Christian. In the moments that I want to give up and throw in the towel, I reminded of the word "season." I rejoice that seasons don't last forever, if they did, it would not be called a season. I am also aware of the fruit that is produced in the changing of the season.

We need the rain of the winter, the sun of the summer, the beauty of the fall and even the pollen of the spring. I like the NASB version of the same scripture:

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every [fn]event under heaven."

Appointed time... , this means that the season that you are in is no mistake. Understand that if your season is battling hurricane Irene right now it is your appointed time. Whether your season is filled with joy, happiness, struggles, suffering or sorrow it is an appointed time.

A season that shall pass like the turning of the leaves. There is one thing that you need to know, no matter what season that you are in. Seasons change but God does not. He is the same as yesterday, today and tomorrow! He is the God that gives, takes, disciplines and blesses and love you all the same!

Instead of asking God to change your circumstances or your season, ask Him to change you while you are in the circumstances. Are you being stretched? Ask Him to make you more flexible. Are you suffering? Ask Him to give you the strength to handle the pain. Are you Joyful? Ask Him to help you remember this time. Are you tired? Ask Him to give you the energy.

I don't understand some of the things that are going on right now, but I just trust Him. Why? Because when I look at my track record with Him. He has never failed me or took me to a place where I regretted going. I remember the good thanking Him for it, forget the bad it was the past and I am forgiven, and learn from the ugly, always lessons to be learned!

Thanking God for seasons..

Mon

I run because she cant!

Its been awhile since I have blogged so let me update you on our Operation Pledge Prayer. We are up to 303 hours of pledged prayer! I am so blown away, my goal was only to hit 100 hours and we have tripled that number! The good news is that there is still time to pledge if you haven't done so, my marathon isn't till October 9th.

Saturday I set out for my first long run of 8 miles. Training has not been the best with a teething infant, a needy 3 1/2 toddler, hubbys ministry schedule and family obligations and everything else in between. It was a great morning to run, not hot at all, I set out on the streets.. Me, my ipod and Jesus! This is my usual! As I hit mile three, I all of a sudden hit a wall. My legs got tired, my breathing got harder and mind started to doubt. Why on earth did I commit to this?

Then I thought of Gracie. I heard the prior night that she was back in the hospital with severe leg pain. As I ran I started to pray for her, you see the pain in my legs were no where near the pain in her legs. And the difference between her and was I could recover and she may not. I run because she cant! As I prayed for her and the others I am running for, I was reminded that you all have pledged to pray. I run, you pray and that is what motivates me.

I tell people that I don't train with anyone, I don't run with a friend, don't train with a group. But I realized on Saturday that I am not alone. I have a group I run with, I run with Jesus, Noah, Gracie, Elias, Sheyanne and Sarah. Gracie is part of my team, and she needed prayer, so Sunday we had a call to action.

A group of us headed to CHOC LA to pray. We had no other expecations other than to stand in front of that hospital and pray. To lift up Gracie and her family. We stood there in one accord and asked Jesus for basically a miracle. To heal, to touch and to bring peace to Gracie and those around. Because as a church when they hurt we all hurt. Up until this point I have still never met Gracie. Only seen her one time and keep tabs through friends.

As we were praying Gracie's father and aunt came down. They were amazing! They were some of the sweetest people I have met. Thanking us for coming out, but in reality it is our duty and our love for the brothern that we come. As we started to pack up to leave, we heard that Gracie wanted to come down. As we heard the news Gracie's wanted to come down. We heard people talking saying " that's Gracie" " Stubborn Gracie" " that girl (shaking their head)". I didn't understand until she came down and I met her. Gracie is a sassy kind of girl. Through the pain, I saw her joy, I saw her sass, I saw her faith but most of all I saw her peace. Her smile is beautiful, her smile says I am ok. I am ready for whatever this season takes me. Her smile tells her auntie that she wants a double double from In N Out! I had the opportunity to meet Gracie's mom, Anna. As a mom, I cant even begin to imagine the journey. This lady radiates faith, Her strength comes from her eyes and the peace shows from her heart. I am sure she has her moments but she truly ministered to me.

Gracie's aunts were the sweetest things! They talked as if Gracie were their own daughter! They were so gentle and grateful and appreciative for us being there. And then there is Gracie's dad, a man of strength, the head of the family. He to found moments to smile, a gentle man that caressed Caleb's head as he lay on my shoulder. This family blessed me a million times over. I went to pray to be a blessing and I was blessed. I was ministered to by this family that in spite of this horrific circumstance they remain strong, with peace, with hope, gentle and with sass!

If you have not already pledged prayer I ask that you take time to consider. If you already are praying I ask that you fast. Time is not on our side, and God gives us a simple command to ask. I ask in the name of Jesus for a modern day miracle and I pray that you join me. Please specifically pray for Gracie's siblings her sister and two brothers. As they start to prepare for the next step, pray for her parents.

Tomorrow I will blog about my experience of sitting in front of CHOC. I thank you, the Aroz family thanks you and I know Gracie thanks you!

Running to win,
Moni

shaking arms and soap scum!

So it is Monday, and I got my first workout since last Monday.. I am happy to report that I didn't die but I didn't get to run either, that is tomorrow. The hubs is at a class tonight and I had to settle for a DVD workout!

Let see how far I get in typing, I worked out my little guns ( my arms) and as I type they are shaking like the little apps on a iphone or ipad right before you are ready to delete them! I was cleaning the house yesterday like I had planned to... per earlier blog and true to His nature the Lord revealed something to me.

First off, I cleaned the shower. You see this is normally my hubby's job but He was at church all day and I took it upon myself to take on this task. On the surface it didn't look so bad, but as I really got in there, there were spots where the soap had built up and hard water made it difficult with a regular sponge.

I had to breakout the stainless steal thingy and really put some elbow grease into. By the way where did elbow grease come from and is there a such thing as elbow grease? That's kinda gross actually.. Anyhow as I scrubbed the hard water and soap scum I couldn't help but think of my heart.

You see there is the everyday sin that is easy to get rid of. You know the "I ate poorly, loss Patience, etc." However, I realized that there is some sin in my heart that is like that soap scum that you cannot see on the surface. Things that I haven't truly surrendered to the Lord and things that need a little bit of elbow grease. As I scrubbed I prayed. I asked the Lord to help me with the things that I have been holding onto that is hindering me. Forgive me for being disobedient to somethings He has called me to do.

Asking Him to show me what needs to change in my life. I finished praying and near completion of my shower cleaning, I couldn't help just watching the water. I sat there in awe, watching the bubbles of the cleanser go down the drain. As the water continued to run eventually the water ran clear and there was no more sign of cleanser or the soap.

It was just a picture of how the Holy spirit comes in and cleans us with the living water. When I left that bathroom, my shower sparkled and my heart beamed. You have something in your heart that isn't right? Some kind of sin that needs to be scrubbed? Hey leave it at the drain!

Pledge Prayer update:

We are up to 188 hours!!!!

Arms still shaking :/

Moni

Runners high... Crash and Burn!

I was on a runners high on Monday and then I crashed and burned on Wednesday.. I got hit with this nasty bug that has left me with a sore throat and a bad chest cough.. But I press on to obtain the prize and my goal. I am wisely resting and will start running perhaps on Monday.

This weekend is a time of cleaning.. My house is turned upside down from the being busy. This weekend I solely intend to give my house and temple the attention that it needs. Some times we go and go and don't take the time to rest. Then it takes something to knock us down off our feet where it leaves no option to stop.

Oh be still my heart is hard for me. Do you ever feel that when your house is a mess you are mental jacked up? I do when my house is dirty and there are things all over it makes me feel like I get in a funk. I think this also goes along with my mind. When I am focused on everything else and my mind is not focused on the word and polluted with all other stuff other than what is important, the word, prayer etc. I am in a funk!

So this weekend I am taking time to regroup my temple (body) and my house! Also I am happy to report that we are up to 155 hours of pledge prayer!!! Woohoo what will happen when people pray? God knows and I look forward to seeing! Please continue and pass along to other to get them involved as well...

I appreciate it, they appreciate it! Love you..
Mon

When faith meets fitness, Prayer happens!!!

What happens when faith meets fitness? 90 hours of prayer thats what!!! Oh ye of little faith. I was so concerned about not hitting my 100 hour pledge goal and I am 10 hours away. I have some prayer warriors up in HERE!!! woot woot!

A friend asked me the other day why I was doing the pledge prayer thing or what prompted my heart. It was simple.... Jesus. I sit here behind the computer day in and day out and read the numerous request for prayer. Prayer for those that are going through horrific battles of cancer. They are children of friends, friends of friends, family to me, family to friends etc. They dont know each other but there hope is the same... A cure!

My hope is the same, my hope that one day EVERYONE I am running for can one day proclaim that they are in remission. I dont have much to offer only a desire to run and the willingness to use my legs as the Lords tool. I have to be honest, I wasnt sure what to expect or what the response was going to be, but I really wasnt concerned.

Because I am doing what God has called me to do. He knows my heart and He hears each and every prayer. He is the God that helps my tired legs run those extra miles and the same God that lifts the head of those suffering. I dont understand why a three year old little boy would have cancer, or a vibrant teen would be battling for her life. To me it doesnt make sense and I cannot comprehend it. But I do understand the God that I serve! I know that His ways and thought our not ours and one day we will see that our pain had a purpose.

If you are reading this and have already pledge I thank you from the intermost part of my heart. I really do appreciate the time you are taking to pray. If you havent pledged yet, and are reading this will you consider? Prayer is free and the best gift that you can give to someone. And if you dont want to do it publicly that is ok to, as long as you are praying. God knows!!!

And if you are not sure who I am running for please see my prior post! I have to tell you that I had the best run on monday morning, although it was hot, as I ran praying and thinking of my new purpose it was like I had new legs!

Love you and keep praying I know a miracle is waiting!

A new race!!! Operation Pledge Prayer!

As some of you may or may not know I am running the long beach marathon. In a earlier blog I announced that I would be running for a special cause. I was going to announce it as soon as I was to get details. Well truth is Gods will has changed my purpose.

Lately I have come to a realization that I am not a long distance runner. Truth be told, I am finding any runs longer than 4 miles is totally out of my comfort zone. I am NOT a runner I have never been but the desire God has put on my heart is so deep.

Today I am running with a great purpose. It is going to be the driving force in my training and what is going to make me cross the finish line on October 9th! I am asking for your help, I am asking you to pledge, only this time it is not monetary pledges I am asking for. I will be running for a few special people, who are battling, battling cancer which I call the new flu :(.

Im calling it Operation Pledge Prayer!

I am asking for you to pledge prayer. I am talking good ol on your knees prayer. I am asking you to pledge whatever time you have to solely dedicate that time to praying for those that I am running for.

Who I am running for:
Baby Noah Manuel Iglesias ( 3yr old) rare form of cancer ( he is now three but in this house we still refer to him as baby Noah
Elias Gonzales (6 years old) w/ Leukemia
Gracie Aroz- Cancer
Sheyanne- Breast Cancer
Cousin Sarah- Cancer

The Goal:
100 hours of prayer pledges

How to pledge:
It is simple, all you need to do is leave a comment here with the date and time you will pray.
Or you can Facebook me with your pledge at the following: http://www.facebook.com/#!/monipereyra

Simply leave me the following info: Your name, the time and date of your prayer time and how many hours or half hours etc. Please only sign up with what you are able to commit to. Perhaps you are going to do an hour for a day and are breaking it up, I just need to know your how many hours.

Whatever you give will be great, ten minutes, thirty minutes and hour etc.....

I will be periodically updating where we are with hours. My goal is to raise 100 hours at least by October 9th! I hope to share their stories within the next week or so for each person. I know some have a blog or a FB page. The truth is I only know two of them personally but my heart does. These are friends of friends, and at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter... I pray that you would sponsor me. I pray that you would take the time to really pray and if you say that you will, that you do.

Also if you can keep me in prayer as I continue to train so that I can complete my race and do it well!!! Also please share this link with family and friends and help me reach my goal...

Thank you & Love you all!!!

“Pray without ceasing in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Mind=Body...Peace!

"The mind has to direct the body. Discipline your mind and the body will follow." So simple yet so true and packet with wisdom.

I read this today and boy was it Gods timing. I have had a rough week of running. I realized talking to a friend the other day that probably every day I said "ugh I don't feel like running today" then I would go on a run and it was horrible. I was tired and my legs felt week.

So whats the problem.. I realized it today that my mind is the problem. Truth be told that I have made some mistakes the past few weeks that have affected my training.

1. Focused on the weight and the scale.
2. Lacked the discipline in staying away from some sweets
3. Became complacent
4. And the biggest one yet.. I left God out of the training!

And I am not just speaking in my physical training. My reading has been off, my devotion is lacking. I am outta wack because I am out of touch. I am focusing to much on my body and it is impossible to achieve my results if my mind isn't into it.

Thank God for new days.. The cool thing is that there is only one step to getting back on track... Discipline the mind! Would you pray for me, I could surely use it. It appears that my feet are starting to feel the effects of my training, I am now nursing a heal pain and some ingrown toe nails ... I know right :( No pain no gain :)

Thank you.. love you all!!!!

p.s...I have no idea why I have the sudden urge to sing en vogues "free your mind" hahah

I do my best, God does the rest!

I told a friend the other day that I don't have it all together ,but I have a God who does. And for me that is all that matters!

Wow I had no idea how hard it would be to train for this half marathon. It seemed that finding time to run before I signed up was great but once I submitted that registration it went all down hill from there. Ok so I am being a little dramatic, but the truth be told, it has been tough. The last few weeks have been busy and trying to break away has been even tougher.

Although I am fully supported by my hubby, the guilty mom syndrome kicks in when I leave to run and the boys are just not wanting to cooperate with daddy. Walking out the door while Caleb is crying and Noah is running around the house, I feel bad leaving my husband who has been at work all day.

The other night, I was on the treadmill and doubt start to fuel my mind. What am I trying to prove, why did I sign up to do a run, why was I being selfish with time away from the family. All the whys and what was the purpose. I ran and it was a good run but went to bed feeling defeated. The next day I got on the treadmill and started to thinking about how I was training alone. Time and schedules doesn't permit me to join a group or set up a good running time with a friend.

I started to praying because I felt "disconnected" I felt like I was doing things all wrong. I felt like at the end of some days, I have just did enough to get through the day and nothing more. It was then that I realized that it was ok not to have it all together because God does.

Although I don't have a running group or buddy, I have Jesus. He is the best trainer anyone could have. I don't train like I should, I don't do alot of things the way I should, but I keep focus on the prize and continue to press on. I do my best and let God do the rest!

I have openly admitted that I am NOT a runner. I had NO desire to run but I know why God has placed this new desire within me. This journey of running has been revealing so much about myself to me. It is exposing, plucking, pruning and with every hill I climb and mile I run it is milestones for me.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares [us], and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us."
Hebrews 12:1

The enemy doesn't want me to run. He doesn't want me to succeed. He does not want me healthy. Why because all glory goes to God. Remember I don't have it all together but my God does. Every thing that I accomplish I do because He is the driving force. I am weak but He is strong. If He can do this for me... He can do this for you!

Running to win~
Moni

The 3 type of runners

Today I am going to talk about three type of runners. And whether you like it or not we all fall into one category. This small piece is actually taken out of a study/ devotion I did, but I will somewhat summarize it for today entry.

Here are your runners:
1. One who starts the race and doesn't finish.
2. One who starts the race just finishes ( not necessarily well)
3. One who starts the race and finishes well

Lets talk about the first runner. In 1946 Florence Chadwick a English swimmer who swam the English canal wanted to swim from Catalina to the shore of long beach. On a dark, foggy night she set out to swim the 26 miles that had never been done. After 15 hours of swimming, she looked up and could not see the shore line, tired and now doubting her abilities she was asked to be taken out of the water. After many pleas and unable to encourage her to continue to swim, she was pulled out of the water placed in the boat, and they continued on and sadly hitting the shore line a mile later.

This is a picture of someone who is running, while on course the trials or pressure become to great. Or tiredness overcomes them and they start to doubt their faith, or trust. This person looks ahead and cannot see changing of circumstances and gives up.

The next runner reminds me of my friends dad. He signed up to do the LA Marathon. He wasn't a runner and you would think that signing up for such an event he would train properly. Well wrong! He just should up the day of the marathon to run and guess what he finished. It took him about 7 hours but the man finished his race. Unfortunately the lack of training caused him to mess up his knees really bad. It was so bad he was off work for a long time and with the potential to one day have surgery.

Now you probably thinking, ok well at least he finished. He is a runner who was not prepared for his race. He didn't train, and although he finished he had consequence that could have been avoided. We need to be prayed up, read up , fellowshiped up that when our course gets tough we are ready to handle the tough terrain. It doesn't mean your course will be easier, but I guarantee that instead of injury there will be growth, hope and blessings.

Lastly the runner who finishes and finishes well. In 2004 The Boston Red Sox found themselves in the second round of the playoffs down to the NY Yankees. They were in game four down three games and also down 4-3 in the game. It was the ninth inning and a out away of being eliminated, they rallied to not only win the game in the twelfth inning but they won the next series and went on to win the world series.

Here is a picture of a team who could have saw their bleak circumstances and doubt their abilities to throw in the towel. I mean who wouldn't right? Even the sports commentators where calling the game saying it was impossible to come back. But against all odds this team relied on what they knew had faith and continued to press on.

Hey listen we are all running, we started to run the day we were born. I ask you where are you on your course? Are you still running? Have you started and quit? If so put on your shoes and get back on course it is never to late. Jesus always gives you a chance to come back. Like a physical course the spiritual race of faith also has peaks and valleys. Some miles are harder than other but don't quit keep running.

Perhaps you are still running, but just that you have no purpose or motivation. You lack vision and you are just going through the motions. You haven't read, you haven't prayed etc. Today is the day, today is the day that you start to train harder so that you can be a better athlete. It is much easier when you are better equipped or spiritual in shape to run your course. Their are blessing waiting for you.

Are you running and running well. Perhaps you have mastered your pace? You are that runner that the day you finish your race you will stand before the Lord and He will put a crown on your head and say " you have finished well." If so then help those who are struggling to train. Mentor those who need a coach and be there when they need someone to run with. Push them when they hit that mental wall. Be a light , be like Jesus!

"Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. "

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Praying that we are running to win!

Moni

A heavy heart!- Pray

Tonight's blog was supposed to be about the different types of runners but I feel compelled to just share my heart. And Lord only knows how it is going to come out. This week has been so rough. Finding time for me has been hard. I have had sinus issues and have this headache that wont go away and because I nurse cant take anything.

The last thing I feel like doing right now is running. I am feeling rather discouraged and not sure why. The boys have been extra cranky and the hubby has been busy preparing teachings and being at the church. The days are long and the nights fly when it is my me time.

Today as I looked over facebook, I was reminded of how my little issues are mole hills compared to some of the issues facing people tonight. In my feed where pleads of prayer for six year old Elias who is battling cancer, the husband and children of the Andrews family who is about to lose their mom and wife at any moment, the Juarez family as the await MRI scans to reveal what I gather if cancer is back with Millie, and I have in my inbox right now three private request for similar or heavy issues.

I am not sure who reads this blog, if anyone will but I ask that if you do tonight please keep these people and the others as well in your prayers. I dont know some of these people but Jesus does. I know my God is a big God and tonight although my heart is heavy I hold onto His promises.

Oh Jesus please touch these people and the many more battling, let it be your will and not ours, and give us understanding. And like Pastor Pancho said tonight please keep us focused on what we do know and not worry about the unknown. Be with those that are fighting for their marriages, free those from mental oppression and help us to focus on you! In your name Amen!!!

"The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right and His ears are open to their prayers." 1 Peter 3:12 NLT

Thank you for allowing my to share my heart. I love you all, I really do..
Moni

Its a marathon not a race - part two

So lets talk about long distance (or Marathon) running vs. short distance ( or race). There are two components to long distance running, cardiovascular and Musculoskeletal Resilience (this is your muscle and skeleton ability to bounce back).

In a short race its fast and you need the ability to get oxygen from the atmosphere to your mitochondria ( these are "power house cells" and their main function is to produce energy) as fast as possible.

As a race distance increases you are putting more emphasis on your Musculoskeletal Resilience factor than your cardiovascular. You are going to relying more on your muscle and bones. Now in a long distance run you need need the ability to tolerate compressive and ground reaction forces on your Musculoskletal system. Typically you will feel the stress in your joints and muscles by the sixth miles.

Ok so now how do I apply this to me? Glad you asked... Remember life is not a race it is a marathon.

I joked with a sister and said that everyone is a runner. This is true, we are all running in some way whether you like it or not. How you run your race is up to you. Approach it like a race and you get burned out and possibly quit. Faith will probably get you to about the fifth mile. True authentic faith is the faith you need to go the distance. It is the faith that runs deeper, it is the Musculoskeletal Resilience that goes beyond the mitochondria.

It has been said that "faith is like a muscle the more it is exercised the stronger it gets." A marathon course is no different from our course in life. There are times we are running up hills, and there are times when the pavement is flat. I know that any hill behind me makes me stronger for the next hill. when I hit the flat pavement I rejoice but maintain a steady pace because I know that soon I will be running another hill.

Unlike a "earthly marathon", we will not pass the finish line till the day we are in the presence of Jesus. When we come face to face with him and he puts a crown on our head and say.........

What will he say about your race? You finished well? You barely finished? Or Wow, I thought you would never finish? What type of runner are you? There are three types of runners. One that starts a race and doesn't finish, one that starts and just finishes and one that starts and finishes well. I will talk about those runners tomorrow!!!!


Running to win!
Mon

Its a marathon not a race part 1

Definitions:

Race- The act of running, contest of speed, A raid or strong current of water flowing through a narrow channel
Marathon- Long distance race, an endurance contest


Today I was doing some research on training for a half marathon and I realized that I am training wrong. You see training for a 5k and training for a marathon is totally different. I have been running like it is a race and after about the fourth mile I start to burn out and my legs start to feel weak!

The way to train for a long run or marathon is to start off slow, maintain a steady pace and occasionally walking if needed. As I ran today differently, I began to see the parallel to the race of faith or our walk with Jesus. Sometimes we forget that we are in a marathon and we run like we are in a race.

As I mentioned above it is suggested in your first marathon that you take little walk breaks, this is help to recover and give you that short rest that you need to continue running. This was surprising to me because I had put the pressure not to walk at all and that is a problem. Sometimes Jesus wants us to slow down or walk if you will, but we have these expectations of what we should or need to do and we run ahead of Him.

I remember my first 5k when the gun went off the adrenaline kicked in and I was gone. I was not maintaining my usual pace and I was hurting by the time I got to mile 2. Thank God I was running with a friend that pushed me because I would have probably stop running. I have seen this happen so many times. Think about a time when you have attended a retreat. you come back on a spiritual high and you come home with 1001 things that you need to do. You have these expectations on what it is like to be Holy and before long you are burnt out! Sometimes its OK to walk, to wait on Jesus remember its not a race it is a marathon.

Running a short race puts a all or nothing mentality. It is go big and go fast or go home! This is dangerous mentality if you are running a long race. Building endurance and keeping a steady pace is crucial to finishing a marathon and I will talk about that tomorrow! Part two to follow!!!

Running to win,
Moni

Running With Purpose

I remember doing my first 5k, had to been about ten at least years ago. I remember leaving that day and thinking I would NEVER do that again. I did it for breast cancer to support my mom and that is IT!!!!

So on the treadmill last night I thought of 100 reasons why it was a mistake to sign up for my first half marathon in October! Let me reiterate that I am NOT a runner.. Running is not easy for me but for some reason I have a burning desire to run. For me it is more spiritual than physical or mental, I can tell you that much.

There is only one good reason that God is calling me to run. And here it is.. The only way I could understand what it is like to train like an athlete is to make me an athlete. Faith, Food and Fitness is bathed out of 1 Corinthians 9:24-27:

"Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training.

They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.

So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing.

I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. "

When this scripture was given to me I had no idea 3 years ago that I would have a desire to run. There is no way I could understand the depth of this scripture unless I put to the test to living it out.

The fact of the matter is that although I am training for a 13 1/2 mile marathon and scared, the spiritual race is also being disciplined in the process. In obedience to what the Lord has called me to do I will be documenting my journey. I know I haven't been able to fully commit to my blog as I should but that is one thing that I am working on.

I want to share with you all so much because I want you to know if I can do it you can to with Gods help! Yesterday was day 1 and let me tell you it felt good to run with purpose. How about you.. what is driving you? Are you running with purpose? Or are you just shadow boxing? what race has God called you to do? Are you ready? Will you run to win? I hope you will...

Please come along side me, I can use your support! I also want to support you to..!!!!

Running to win!

Moni

A letter to my boys!

Today is mothers day and although it “technically” a day to celebrate mothers, I celebrate being a mother with a letter to my boys...

Noah Asher-

My precious boy, the day you were born my heart grew and touched places of it I never knew existed. I watch you grow and I am so proud of the lil boy that you are. You are so gifted and teach me so much on not only how to be a good mommy, but a good person. Your minister to me daily, with your encouragement... “Your a good cooker mommy, your a good parker daddy, mommy you are a great runner, or your ability to make me feel better when I am sick with a lil “ mommy I make you feel better” and hug me.

You are such a great big brother, a protector to him. Your affection to our family with the many kisses and hugs warms my heart. Your love to worship through song makes not only me happy, but I know Jesus is smiling to! Your big smile can light up a even the brightest of rooms. I am so proud of the little boy that you are, so well behaved, polite and generous! Thank you my son, thank you for showing me how to love more, play more, sing more and for sure DANCE more!

Caleb Joshua-

Oh poppa, when they placed you in my hearts for the first time my heart skipped a beat. I never knew there was room in my heart for another love. Watching you grow have been such a blessing. In the morning waking up and seeing you laying there smiling starts off my day right! You never cease to stop smiling and your joy ministers to me!

I cant tell you how much it touches my heart to watch your lil eyes set upon your brother. Him dancing around and you laughing or when he is next to you and you try to hug him. The brotherly love that you show to him and for each other is a answer to prayer that I am so thankful for. Baby, I cant tell you how precious it is to lay with you at nap time, while you have your little hand on my neck . Just watching you sleep thinking about the little boy that you will become! Thank you my son for teaching me how to smile more, love more and be more!

I want you both to know how much I love you.. I always tell your daddy that I love him “ alil less than Jesus” and I want you both to know that as well! As long as Jesus is first in my life I will know how to love you and how to raise you in his ways. I am not perfect and I will make mistakes. I am sure I have already. You probably will not agree with me on things and perhaps at times get upset. BUT I want you both to know that I love you, everything I do is for you. I want you both to grow up and go out into the world and not be a part of it but change it.

I want you to love people, touch people and do Gods business because that is what you were born to do! Being a mommy is hard, and there are times that I am afraid of the things in this world for you both. I want you to know that I trust Jesus, I have faith that as long as I love Him the way He loves you, I can have peace!

I am so excited to see the men that you both will be but until then I will enjoy watching you grow!

Love your #2 Fan (Jesus is your #1 fan, never forget it),

Mommy

" I can do all things..."

Running has never come easy to me. As I have shared in past blogs I was that chubby girl in gym class coming in last on the one mile. So when the desire to start to run popped in my head I thought it was satan trying to kill me.. No really!

Inspired by family who ran the LA marathon I signed up for my first 5k a month ago and started to train as some of you know. Well sunday was the day, the day I was to run! As I approached the starting line to line up I gotta tell you the nerves really got to me. I questioned why on a sunday I was getting the family up at 4am to run three miles.

As self doubt on my ability to run crept in a small voice reminded me that I was doing it for me, and more importantly for Him. As they counted us down and the crowd began to move and we picked up pace it got exciting.. It only took less than 5 minutes to hit my first wall! The pavement seemed alot harder and the first mile seemed ALOT longer.

After I hit the first mile, I slipped on my ipod and decided to have fun.. I wasnt competing for a prize ( or at least not yet) I wasn’t in a race! I was in a run.. And the only thing the Lord told me was to run it well....

I think I did pretty good, completed it in 34 minutes! It was alot faster than my training times. Even today I sit here and giving God glory that I accomplished my first run. I know that with Him all things are possible, even for this little chubby kid!!!!

“ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Phil 4:13

Soccer with Jesus & Childlike faith

There is something about having an infant and toddler that allows me to understand two things: One the heart of Jesus, and two, childlike faith that the bible talks about.

The heart of a mother or father:

Lets talk about the heart of Jesus. Being a parent brings on a love that no one can explain. It is a love that is deeper and a bond that hits the innermost part of your heart.

The love that I have for my children is a unconditional love that no matter what they do wrong I will never abandon them. I will always believe in them, take care of them and because I love them I have to also discipline them. I hurt when they hurt, I take that back I hurt MORE when they hurt.

I always have their best interest at hand and I am their strongest advocate! I will never lead them down a beaten path and I promise to protect them. BUT I will also let them fall when they need to so, Jesus can pick them up. I will allow them to make tough choices so that they can receive the blessings that God has in store for them. And no matter how hard it will be, I am going to have to let fail so they can learn.

When I examine my heart and love for my kids, I understand God’s heart. Because I am His and He is mine. He loves me more and knows me more because He created me. I cannot even fathom that!

‘For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully [and] wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And [that] my soul knows very well.

My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, [And] skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When [as yet there were] none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!’

Psalm 139:13-17

Childlike faith

You hear the old cliche “ oh to be a baby again to only have to worry about eating, sleeping and pooping.” I thought about that for a second. And truth be told, I doubt that Caleb worries about anything!

He is in total surrender to his mother. He doesn't worry about his next meal, because he knows that I will be nursing him soon. He doesn't worry about a dirty diaper because as soon as I smell it, its gone. He doesn't worry about what he will wear because as long as he is not cold or hot he is happy. He has total trust and faith in me that I am going to take care of him because I love him and show him that. A picture of total trust in the Father.

Noah, my prophet, preacher, worshiper and everything else in between. He plays with Jesus. Yup some have imaginary friends but my son plays with Jesus. The other day I told him stop kicking the soccer ball in the house and he said he was playing soccer with Jesus. He said “ come on Jesus” and ran around the house kicking his ball. A few seconds later I heard “ wow you are really good at this game Jesus.” :) He once told me that Jesus was sleeping in his room and I needed to leave out a blanket. He tells me that he has Jesus in his heart. At night he laughs in his sleep and I know it is Jesus! He sings worship songs at the top of his lungs when we are shopping not caring who is listen and doesn't hesitate to sing about Jesus! His prayers are Innocent and they are from the heart.

I will close with a story of the time we were at Costco. I saw a man who was homeless sitting at a table. I got Noah's had held him tight as we passed by. I looked for the farthest table to sit at. As we ate our pizza, I couldn't help but notice Noah smiling at this man. We asked him what he was smiling about and he leaned over and whispered “ Mommy that is Jesus.” I was so convicted he saw more than a homeless man he saw Jesus.

This is the childlike faith that Jesus talks about! I want to totally trust God like Caleb and play soccer with Jesus! And have the eyes of a child that sees Jesus in everything.

"Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."

Matthew 10:15

-Mon

Eat simple!

People often say that eating healthy, has no flavor, taste gross and cost to much. I also was guilty, however as I find healthier ways to feed the family, I will have to disagree...!

My husband has been eating non-fat Greek yogurt this whole week and had no clue I switched him from his low-fat organic plain... He has yet to tell me that it taste different! Last night I made Asher mac and cheese and I added puree of sweet potato and he ate it up and had no idea there was a vegetable in there. ;)

Some farmers markets have their organic veggies on sale and it is cheaper than the non organic. I will agree that sometimes good ol fat taste better. You just gotta get creative! One thing I never did is look at the labels. I know you may say you don't know how to read them or what to look for. Well I will tell you this, just looking at the amount of sugar alone in something will be enough to keep you from buying... for reals.. Also will make you cry to!

Eating better doesn't need to be alot of work.. it can be this simple.. Drink lots of water and stay away from any other drinks. Tea and Coffee are ok, but caffeine makes you hungry so be careful. Eat all natural products ( doesn't have to be organic) these are products that haven't been processed like chips, etc. This is your fruits and veggies..Stick to the browns.. Brown rice, wheat bread, etc... more fiber and better for you. Stay away from all the sugar stuff, cookies, candy, cakes etc!!! ( I know I am crying with you) Take a multi vitamin and bam I guarantee you will have success!

This is a lifestyle change and not a diet. As most of you know I was a die hard WW queen and although it works I found this time around it isn't for me. I cant count points all my life, I just need to make the changes in my eating.. Meal planning is the key, make a menu and prep your food on a Sunday for the week. These are the things that have been helping me. This does take some work but from experience I rather be proactive than reactive.

Preventing is better than maintaining a weigh related illness (i.e high blood pressure, diabetes etc.)

Have fun exploring new foods.. Eat simple!

"5k, soy sauce and breaking down walls! "

Its was always at the 3-4 minute in that I would hit a wall. I am not sure why at that minute I would begin to feel my chest tighten, my legs become weak and anxiety would set it.

Running has always been a challenge for me. Perhaps the old memories of running that mile in high school and fear of being that chubby girl finishing last still haunts me. I don't think it was physical but a mental block of fear that caused my body to feel the physical pain. The desire to run a marathon has been on my heart, but the fear of hitting that wall also set me back.

As I sat there in the pouring rain a few weeks ago watching people run and live out their dreams of running in the LA marathon, I thought “why not me”. Why am I allowing fear to hold me back from my desire to run! The bible has alot to say about running in a race and one thing penetrates my heart, the thought of "obtaining" the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24 states that many run but only a few obtain the prize.

I left there wrestling with my desires and fears. I want to obtain “that” prize but I also know that when that 4 minute mark sets in I always stop and it is time to walk. The next day I prayed got on my treadmill. As I started to run, I approached that 4 minute mark and true to form, fear, anxiety the tightness of chest set in. Instead of stopping and walking this time I kept going. I did not allow that fear to paralyze me again, and I broke through that wall that has been up for many years.


I was not going to let that fear hold me back anymore. I realized that the wall was more mental than physical. As the minutes ticked slowly the physical pain went away and I was running.... Last night I ran two miles, took me about a half hour but guess what I didn't stop to walk at all! And let me tell you that it feels awesome! I am running my first 5k on May 1st. To some it may be just three miles but to me, it will be an accomplishment and just a beginning. There is something about running with my headphones listening to worship that brings me peace. I love it! The vision of that chubby chick finishing last is slowing fading away....

So on a side note... my lunch with the girlfriends was so nice Saturday. If you follow my blog you know that I needed “me” time. We had sushi and I think I ate the California rolls faster than you can say “cal”. Sorry ladies I eat like a fireman because with a toddler and baby who knows when my next meal will be. I also manage to drop my sushi roll in my soy sauce, but don't worry I didn't get dirty... MY FRIEND did! Yup all over her WHITE shirt :( I know right? Who brought the girl that never gets out!

We had a blessed afternoon, and ended it at the running store shopping for some running shoes! Which I am learning that running as a past time can be a bit expensive! BUT I know where God guides He provides... I promise to be on better behavior next time ladies on our next girlfriend date!!!

You have a fear that is holding you back? You ever get to a place where there is wall in front of you and instead of facing it, you back down. If so there is hope and I can tell you that whatever is behind it, is waiting to bless you. It is closer than you think. You can do, don't allow fear to hold you back, allow your faith to help you conquer it! Obtain it!

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. "

1 Corn. 9:24

Praying for many broken walls,
Moni

Guilty Mom Syndrome!

I don't clock in, I don't clock out, I don't get paid, I'm always on call, I don't ever leave the office, I don't get sick days, personal days, vacation days, I don't get paid mileage, and some days I don't even abide by the dress code ( get a shower before 9pm). I don't have any personal space, I get spit up on, coughed on, breathed on, boogied on and some times pooped on and some days I don't even get a bathroom break!

I am a mom and this is my Job!

If I am being honest the last 6 months I have been 100% mommy, 65 % wifey :0, 50% daughter, 45% friend, 35 % daughter to the most highest king :( and 2% me :/

Talk about being totally unbalanced! I have talked in previous blogs about balance, mainly with faith, food and fitness but there is one major component that needs to be addressed...me or you!

When we become moms, we replace the “me” with “ mom”. Perhaps there is a stigma that if we are not giving “all” of ourselves to our families we are being selfish. Thus creating “guilty mom syndrome”.. No really google it, it really exist! One form can be if you are away from your children you feel guilty doing so. There needs to be balance and I am not talking about the “selfish” me. I am talking about the devoted quality time enriched with devotion with God, working out, spending time with girlfriends and being you!

It is important that that we take time for self. Why? Because if not, we can get burnt out, stressed out, bitter or angry ( don't judge! and don't look at the screen like you don't know what I am talking about) impatient (yup... right?) and unworthy or unhappy with self.

The other day, my hubs came home, and I had on my Pj’s, greasy hair, rice cereal in my hair, shirt and the house was upside down ( I know I wouldn't have come home either!) He looked at me and with the fear in his eyes said “whats wrong?”

With one deep breathe it went something like this......
“ I want to go somewhere, somewhere without having to take out the car seat, where I don’t need a stroller, somewhere without a baby or toddler, where I can take longer than five minutes to eat my meal, where the only meal I need to cut up is my own, where I can talk without having to get interrupted and forget where we left off, where I can talk about girl stuff, stuff that doesn’t involve a cartoon song, where I don’t need to say “sit, your going to fall, or listen or come here” anywhere just for an hour or two

... pause to see his reaction....

“ANNNND i need to go soon, like this weekend, like with grown up people, Girls in fact, somewhere other than my treadmill or running the streets!”

And this my friend is what happens when you don’t take time for yourself! Oh man rereading that makes me sound terrible! oh well don’t judge! hahah I love my family however not having that balance and taking time for me, brought me to a bad place. It made me irritable, impatient, jealous ( i know, terrible) lazy and crushed my spirit. This is not the mommy God desires me to be.

Ladies.. mommy’s... the fact of the matter is this, it is critical that we take time for ourselves regularly, if not it will damage our family and crush the spirit of those that we care about. It is a crucial part of faith, food and fitness...

I don’t have it all figured out just yet, but tomorrow I am having lunch with a few girlfriends and that is a start. I cant guarantee that I wont bust out a yo gabba gabba song, or cut up someone’s meal but it is a start. And I am pretty sure that half way through my meal I will get that “GMS” but its a start!

Have you been neglecting yourself, do yourself a favor and do something for you today, something that will increase your faith, food or fitness lifestyle!!!!

BTW is it just me? Am I the only one? If not can I get a “WURD!”

XOXOXOX
guilty mommy!