"5k, soy sauce and breaking down walls! "

Its was always at the 3-4 minute in that I would hit a wall. I am not sure why at that minute I would begin to feel my chest tighten, my legs become weak and anxiety would set it.

Running has always been a challenge for me. Perhaps the old memories of running that mile in high school and fear of being that chubby girl finishing last still haunts me. I don't think it was physical but a mental block of fear that caused my body to feel the physical pain. The desire to run a marathon has been on my heart, but the fear of hitting that wall also set me back.

As I sat there in the pouring rain a few weeks ago watching people run and live out their dreams of running in the LA marathon, I thought “why not me”. Why am I allowing fear to hold me back from my desire to run! The bible has alot to say about running in a race and one thing penetrates my heart, the thought of "obtaining" the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24 states that many run but only a few obtain the prize.

I left there wrestling with my desires and fears. I want to obtain “that” prize but I also know that when that 4 minute mark sets in I always stop and it is time to walk. The next day I prayed got on my treadmill. As I started to run, I approached that 4 minute mark and true to form, fear, anxiety the tightness of chest set in. Instead of stopping and walking this time I kept going. I did not allow that fear to paralyze me again, and I broke through that wall that has been up for many years.


I was not going to let that fear hold me back anymore. I realized that the wall was more mental than physical. As the minutes ticked slowly the physical pain went away and I was running.... Last night I ran two miles, took me about a half hour but guess what I didn't stop to walk at all! And let me tell you that it feels awesome! I am running my first 5k on May 1st. To some it may be just three miles but to me, it will be an accomplishment and just a beginning. There is something about running with my headphones listening to worship that brings me peace. I love it! The vision of that chubby chick finishing last is slowing fading away....

So on a side note... my lunch with the girlfriends was so nice Saturday. If you follow my blog you know that I needed “me” time. We had sushi and I think I ate the California rolls faster than you can say “cal”. Sorry ladies I eat like a fireman because with a toddler and baby who knows when my next meal will be. I also manage to drop my sushi roll in my soy sauce, but don't worry I didn't get dirty... MY FRIEND did! Yup all over her WHITE shirt :( I know right? Who brought the girl that never gets out!

We had a blessed afternoon, and ended it at the running store shopping for some running shoes! Which I am learning that running as a past time can be a bit expensive! BUT I know where God guides He provides... I promise to be on better behavior next time ladies on our next girlfriend date!!!

You have a fear that is holding you back? You ever get to a place where there is wall in front of you and instead of facing it, you back down. If so there is hope and I can tell you that whatever is behind it, is waiting to bless you. It is closer than you think. You can do, don't allow fear to hold you back, allow your faith to help you conquer it! Obtain it!

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. "

1 Corn. 9:24

Praying for many broken walls,
Moni