I am a wall that needs painting

Its monday and its time to get to the business.. Well as promised when I started blogging I want to make sure that I am real and honest. Today I am sharing my true heart with my blog readers.

It has now been two weeks on this new journey and to be honest it feels like a month or perhaps longer. Since I started this new walk, It has been a battle. I have been battling spiritually from not been able to sleep to physical attacks including knee pain, dizziness and headaches. Noah has managed to get sick the whole two weeks, sal has also been suffering from allergies. Sal started back to school and now its back to me running the house again.

Today I weighed in and I am not sure how but I managed to gain 2 pounds. I have been really good eating and working out so I am not going to stress on the scale. I will admit by friday I was feeling defeated and ready to throw in the towel. I think its funny considering I just blogged about giving up. As I was in prayer last night I was reminded of a old painted wall.

Have you ever seen a wall that has been painted over old chipped paint? For far it seems to look great but as you get closer you realize it isn't? The reason is that the wall was never prepped for the new paint. Instead of taking the time to chip the old paint and prep it, the painter just take new paint and paints over it. In time wear and tear makes it obvious that it wasn't done right and the old paint start to show through and now its chipping in different places.

Well you see I am that wall! I am the wall that has never been prepped properly and there is many years of chipped paint that has been painted over and over again. There has been times when on the outside I was looking good a size 6 but inside I was far from healthy. There were many times my inside didn't reflect my outside and vice versa. So now I have taken that new journey of FFF and to find balance and do it right. So what has to happen? God the master craftsman, has to strip the old paint, sand me down, tape me up and put the new coat of paint that will withstand the weather and future storms.

Oh course there is some REALLY old paint on my wall and the Lord needs to use some elbow grease to take it off.. My stubborn ways that just cling to the wall. So this process isn't easy and takes some time. He is taking that time, he is stripping me. Like a alcoholic that has been stripped away from alcohol and goes into detox so must I. I feel like i have been detoxing the last two weeks. What can I be detoxing you may ask? Well I have from the sin of many things. From using sugar and food to make me happy, relying on the Lord to give me strength instead of using excuses to be lazy, cutting out my tv time so that I can use more time in my reading. And I think the biggest battle, getting away from the bondage that the enemy has had on me for many years, anxiety and worrying for nothing.

In order for me to live the true life of Faith, Food and Fitness I must be stripped from the old. So did I know that this was to happen? Yes of course, in any transformation period this is part of the process that I must embrace. I cling to 2 Corinth which says that in times when we feel our weakest the Lord will be our strength. It is at that time that He is truly doing a work, and His Grace will be sufficient for our needs.

I don't pray that the battle ends soon and I will be healed, I pray that the Lord will give me strength to go through this and not miss the lessons that He is teaching me. I pray for the growth and excited to see the new me! I pray that I detox till I learn all that needs to be learn so that there is no left over chipped paint residue.

Hang in there with me for a minute because I have a few things that I just read last night in “Authentic Faith”. Gary Thomas says this about suffering:

“ We will be healthier in the Long run if we put up with minor suffering in the short run-with reason.

“If someone is truly serious about spiritual growth or overcoming a bad-habit, he or she better be prepared to go to war. A halfhearted effort usually wont suffice.

I dont think that it is coincidence that I decided to read this new book at the very same time that I began this journey. Some of my roughest days I pick up this book and it is talking about the same exact thing that I am going through. God is so awesome and He is sufficient for my needs.

If you have any questions or comments about this , I like to hear them. Or if you are on a journey right now let me know how it is going. Share your story, you can inspire someone!

Praying through chipped paint,

Monica