As I gazed ahead, I only saw a sea of runners and there was no detour in sight. I felt like I had been running along the beach for what seemed like eternity and it didn't look like it was going to change any time soon.
The first six miles seemed to fly, with the changing of the scenery, but the straight path of just sand and ocean became undaunting. As I got to the next mile marker hoping to get some sort of relief from another mile down, I was met with frustration.
Mile EIGHT? I thought I already ran that mile. Immediately, my mind was met with uncertainty and fear. As I ran past runner after runner stopping, cramping, crying.... I started to fear what if I can't finish. What if I start to cramp. What if I never get past these beach miles. What if....
Immediately I had to remind myself that this wall I'm hitting was more mental than physical. I had trained for this and I was prepared to finish. If I get pass this wall, I would be ok. Although I could not see the finish line, each step was one closer to finishing. I had to make a choice to panic or fight through it and finish.
Today as I started the day, I had to remind myself this is another wall, although I cannot see the finish line each minute, each breath I take is one closer to the finish line.
My back is whacked from my sciatica , I am barely getting around and we found ourselves in urgent care again with another round of strep for Noah. I feel like I have been running along the beach forEVER. To be honest it's only been about 7 months, But this stretch has been undaunting!
Just like running in a marathon, in life we hit walls. Here we are running along and some miles seem to breeze by with ease and then ,there are those that we feel will never end. When? are we going to see the next mile marker? Then we get there only to realize its a mile of the same struggle, testing and growing.
It's then we have to make a choice on how we are going to continue to run. Reminding ourselves of the spiritual training we have gone through, or retreating and giving up. When we take our eyes off the prize ahead, let our fears have power over faith and we look to the right or left we are headed into a heap of trouble.
Remember when peter got off the boat and walked on water to Jesus. It was not until he took his eyes off Jesus and let the fear of walking on water mentally take over when he started to sink.
That was his mistake. But what I love, is that although he had this mental lapse. The bible tells us that Jesus immediately grabbed him.
It's so reassuring to know that as we are running when hit that wall we can call upon the name Jesus to pull us up. But if I'm being honest I have to tell you that just knowing that is not enough. We need to put what we know into action by faithfully fighting through the wall.
You don't have to do it alone. One thing that helped me along the course was the pleather of people who came out to cheer, hold signs and shouted "your doing great, almost there".
The last few days we have been blessed with family and friends who have stepped up in school pick up, running errands and bringing us dinner! We were not intended to walk this journey solo.. Dont be to proud to accept the help, and accept the blessings.
Run your race, keep your eye on the prize, fight through the wall and don't do it alone!
Moni
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