beyond borders

She stopped mid chorus and encouraged us to really think about what we were singing. 

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, where my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior."

Do you understand what you are asking? In that moment, what I was asking God was to take me deeper,out of the boat in to the water. Take me into the storm, because it is impossible for faith to be made stronger unless it is exercised. 

How do we exercise faith? It needs to be tested and tried. How is it tested and tried...? A good trip through the valley. About four months ago, I clung to my husband in our kitchen tired. I was so over the season of being in the valley and I just wanted to sit on the mountain top basking in the sun. When can I get back in the boat Lord?

 

Today , I find ourselves no longer in the valley , but we are defiantly miles from the top. I can tell you this.... As I sit and think of the times of being beyond the border of comfortable, I can't help to remember the day our Caleb had his seizure and went unconscious. How I helplessly, sat on the stairs praying with Noah as my husband ran in and outta the house with Caleb unresponsive in his arms. "Talk to Jesus son, hang on to Jesus son" he kept repeating. And what seemed like eternity was only a few moments before the ambulance got to our house. 

I remember following the ambulance with such fear? I had to go deep beyond anything I had ever experienced before to find the faith and trust in The Lord that goes beyond the border of any of my previous testing. I could hear the encouragement that I often shared about in bible studies, blogs or devotions and I had to ask myself do I really believe God had us.

Although that event was traumatic for our family, there is no other way we could have experienced the peace and presence of God like that any other way.

 

A border can be discribed as a boundary. Think about that for a moment. We set boundaries in relationships and places to keep us safe. How uncomfortable do you feel when someone has crossed it.

 

One of the first times I went to Mexico I was terrifed. I heard about all the bad things that happen when you cross the border and how serious you need to be. I remember thinking what if when they ask me something, and I get this unexpected accent. Forget my information and I can't answer. Then they think I'm lying and think I'm trying to cross illegally. Haha... or what if my sense of humor does do well with the Feds and they throw me in the slammer with Pedro and I have to drink the dirty water and I get a parasite and die. 

How dumb huh? We were not even there yet and I was already thinking of how my new life in Mexico would look like , because I would never get back home. 

Last night as we sat with a friend who will be signing her divorce documents today, we reminded her how God is already in our tomorrow. "It's going to be hard tomorrow " she kept saying. "Or it may not. We have no idea how tomorrow will be, but we know God is already there. " We don't know what's beyond the border we are asking God to lead us beyond.

BUT we can rest in the fact that He is there. 

I love the last part of that chorus:

"...in the presence of my savior". God is present! Thank God He is always faithful to show up. 

It's a deep song, but it's also a heavy prayer. After truly understanding what I was asking I have never sang it the same. Perhaps God has taken you outside the border of your own trust. Where you are I'm the middle of a heavy workout of faith building, remember one thing God will never lead you where His grace cannot keep you! 

#trusting God, being faithful

Moni