Like a flood, with a purpose!

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with my Noah Asher. That morning I had dropped off my husband at the airport for his trip to Israel. I somewhat had a feeling, but in all the hustle and bustle to get him ready I didn't get a chance to take a test before he left.

That night after meeting my parents for dinner and barfing in the restroom  I took the test. Sure enough it was positive.

Well so , here I am with child and there he was on his way to the holy land. I decided to wait it out and surprise him with the news. That was the longest 12 days of my life. The night he came home a big group of us probably about 20 of us gathered at his gate with balloons and a huge banner that said "welcome home daddy". By the time he arrived we had attracted a bigger crowd of bystanders that wanted to wait around to see his reaction.

I'll never forget the look on his face as he rounded the corner coming down the escalator  , jet lagged and confusion written all over his face. He made it to the bottom , I stepped forward , he said "what" gave me a hug and whispered in my ear "I think I'm going to faint". We made it home, he rested his head on my tummy , we prayed and he cried himself to sleep.

Few months in, we found out that our boy had a kidney issue. It was one of those "common/not common" things. Because of this issue we decided that on the eve of my birthday 11/7 we would induce, not to go beyond the day he was due 11/9.

To speed up my labor, my doctor broke my water bag, to our surprise the water came out brown. Noah had pooped in the sac and that meant he was in some sort of distress. Immediately they started pumping me with fluids to flush out the sac. They called in the NICU staff to be on stand by. I pushed and true to his name, he came out with a flood of water. As a matter of fact they had to grab towels and mops to soak up the floor , but he came out quiet.

They didn't place him on my chest, they cut the umbilical cord from around his neck rushed him to the side and immediately started shoving some sort of contraption down his throat to clear whatever was there. It seems like it was eternity before I heard a peep out of him. He finally let out a squeal and they brought him to my face as the doctor worked below. I whispered "Yahweh is Lord" in his ear and they took him to the NICU. I only saw him for seconds and I watched him leave with my husband right behind. I asked the doctor if he would be ok, he said calming, he was fine.

It wasn't till a few hours later that I was able to see both my boys. After having low blood sugar, severe jaundice and a slight heart murmur we left 5 days later. My entrance to motherhood wasn't what I expected , but after six months of follow up appointments for his heart and kidney he was signed off with a clean bill of health and my faith was stronger due to the months of exercise.

Shortly after Noah was born, maybe three months after a friend of a friend found me at a morning bible study. She said that as she was worshiping, the Lord had given her a vision and scripture for a baby. Asking who it was it was revealed to her that it was my Noah.

She approached me with a piece of paper with the scriptures. She hadn't seen Noah yet, only hearing that we had a baby. She began to prophesied over him. He will be gentle like Joseph, strong like David. He will be gifted with worship and be a comfort to many. She was so excited to share her gift and I thought she was crazy. Still somewhat immature in my walk , I thought she probably got the juice from communion that was fermented.

She stopped looked me in the eyes and said " the Lord also showed me that the day , your son was born you whispered "yahweh is lord" in his ear. Then I , was looking for the fermented juice to drink! Fo real.. What! But I firmly believe that I needed to know that so that I would not doubt that what she was saying was from the Lord.

Noah has always been special, as a baby he would look to the heavens, smile and laugh. When he was a toddler, he would shhhhh me because "Jesus was sleeping" in the corner of his room. He said he played soccer with him at night. We would give him his bible upside down, he would always turn it right side up as small as six months. He would turn to the books before he could even pronounce them correctly. His prayers were beyond his years and he is gifted in memorizing scripture.

He defiantly has a heart to comfort, and a generous spirit about him. He is introverted which I feel can be mistaken as rude and shy which is hard for me to relate too. I am learning how to adapt and how to help him socially. He has a heart to serve, doesn't like to clean his room but loves to pitch in anywhere we go. He's well behaved ,but not perfect, well mannered ,but still is all boy and one thing is true is that he is a family dude.

At the tender age of newly eight today, he understands the importance of family. He is loyal, loving, all thing presidents and can't get enough of Legos. He loves his Lord, has a heart to worship and loves the God ok USA and history of it.

We are blessed at his quiet yet mature spirit and I could not imagine our family without him. Without a doubt the day he was formed in my womb, God had a plan and I am enjoying every minute of watching it unfold. I am forever grateful and changed that the Lord chose me to be his mom!

Noah means comfort and Asher means blessed or smiling one. If you know my Asher you know he smiles hard and that smile lights a part of my heart that only he can.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy! Mommy loves you!

On the eve of forty

On the eve of my 40th birthday I am not sure I want to drop kick it to the face or embrace it and hug it like a long lost friend. 

On one hand the thought of being out of high school for 22 years makes me seem old ,but the fact that every morning I woke up for last 40 years is a gift I should embrace. Some haven't been so blessed. 

If you asked me in my teen years what I'd be doing at 40, id probably tell you I would be playing basketball in the wnba. In my 20's id say sitting in my office for AT&T still taking long "working" lunches and still loving my honey. My 30's well that's when things would start to change. I'd say raising a boy or two, still loving my honey and possibly be a stay at home mom, and involved in ministry. 

Well here we are on the eve of 40! I am laying here in sweat shorts, my husbands shirt,  watching a sweet little girl sleep. My house is tore up, my two boys are at an amazing school that we are somehow affording to pay. My body stretched, scared, gray, and flabby. But it's ok I am still using the I just had a baby card. My office is my home and paycheck comes in hugs.

I never knew what forty would looked like and I never could have wrote it any better. Has getting to forty been easy? Absolutely not! We have lost way too many loved ones, hit lots of dark valleys, experience many disappointments,  and struggled through emotional, mental, financial, and physical pain. 

But here is what I can say about forty, although my body aches from lack of sleep, my house looks like El Niño arrived, we have some bills heading into the 60 day mark from Gracie's birth there is great peace. 

I've learned at 40 that every year before it was written out way before I was born. When the Lord formed me in that precious strong lady I call mom, He knew what forty would look like for me. He knew I would one day be here in this house , entrusted with a loving husband and three children that call me mom, well kinda.

So the day I was born he started my training. Everything whether it seemed good or bad, has been to prepare me for this day and the days ahead.

The reality of life is that I have no idea how many birthdays the Lord has for me. And for me, I realize that our time is precious and short in compared to eternity. So for me forty doesn't look like the dirty house or the rundown tent I occupy.

Here is what my forty looks like. It looks like hope, hope that one day I can stand before the Lord with confidence that I took care of the people he trusted me with. That my arrows he placed in my quiver would hit the target. That the man he gave me I respected and loved him as His child. 

It looks like love, I love people. The boys are always asking why I talk to everyone. I love to love. I love waving to the crossing guard every morning as I drive by that I have never met. I love dinner dates, coffee dates and any time I can sit across the cutest four year old to the hurting 50 year old. 

It looks like peace, despite circumstances, hurts or failures I have peace that "He who has begun a new work has not completed it" so I rest in the fact that God is not done with me. So there is Grace.

It looks like faith, I don't know what tomorrow holds , but I know who holds it. It is because of my testimony and what God has done in my life that my faith is stronger than a mustard seed.

So here's to 40 and praying for many more! And as always I want to thank my mom that 40 years ago she chose life. And to all my family, friends , strangers I've met... Thank you loving me and helping me be who I am today!!!

So let's eat cake!!!! Xoxoxo 
Moni 

Triggered Moments, Happy Birthday Caleb Joshua

Last year I went through a book that explained about triggers. You know when something happens that triggers a moment or a time of significance in your life, good or bad.

Sometimes the trigger can be something as small as a scent or a sound or sometimes something subconscious you don't even know what it was that triggerd that memory.

The other night, I noticed my cell phone was dead and I needed to make a call. I went to the kitchen to use the red thing that's been sitting on the counter since we moved in. You know what it was a ......land line phone. As I lifted the receiver, my mind was triggered by the last time I used that thing , about two and half years ago to call 911 when Caleb had his seizure and laid lifeless in my husbands arm.

I placed the receiver back and my mind just went for it. It replayed that afternoon as if I hit the rewind on the dvr. And then it was paused on a conversation we had with the doctors. Caleb had a febrile seizure, and chances of it happening again before he turned five were a lot greater than him not. So from that day the number 5 was embedded in my mind. 

Realizing that we are coming up on Caleb's fifth birthday, I just had one of those moments of reflection and gratitude mixed with emotions. When he turns five the chances of another febrile seizure drastically diminishes. On one hand that comforts me and on the other hand seen him mature into this little boy playing on the school yard makes me sad. I just feel like the last few years didn't come fast enough and then they came to quick. 


I crawled into bed and just thought about the years with my Caleb Joshua, he is such a strong boy in character yet so sensitive. He was the one we ended up in the hospital with a few times, and when he gets sick we always feel a little more cautious , but it has helped us to rely and trust in the Lord.

Luckily for Caleb I was having this moment when I heard the jiggle of puppy's collar as Caleb tried to crawl into our bed at midnight. Instead of telling him it was to early to go back to his own bed I had him pull up a pillow and he got into a little snuggle trouble.

Here is what you should know about Caleb. He is quite the communicator, the other day he said he "loved his school" and that "it was really working out for him" in his own words.

He does not take no for an answer. He will plead his case to the END. He loves all things Mickey, always has his puppy by his side even if he is just coming downstairs and loves chocolate chip cookies. He loves school, is a prayer warrior and smothers his little sister. He looks up to his brother and wants to do EVERYTHING Noah does. He appears to be tough, but he is a softy. He still cuddles with his mommy and way over protective. And if you are sitting or laying next to him chances are he has his leg or arm on you. And he pays way to much attention to the girls for a five year old. 

Our family is stronger, our house is louder, my heart feels fuller, and our love is deeper, because on this day five years ago the Lord allowed us to welcome Caleb Joshua to family. And I am grateful that two years ago the Lord had His hand upon you allowed us to spend more birthdays with you. Happy Birthday my baby boy, we love you a little less than Jesus, but surely

more than any one on this earth.

Love you forever, like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
Mommy

Asleep on the toilet and a Spartan Race

It's been awhile since I last blogged and it isn't from a lack on content, because having a newborn - now infant in the house has surely reminded me on how much more I need Jesus in my life.

Like last night for example, I thought I'd see the pearly gates of heaven when I fell asleep going potty in the middle of the night. Yup fo real, like sitting on the pot in a full on sleep. Only to wake up frantic in complete darkness wondering where the heck I was. When I went to get up, I hit the floor because my leg had fallen asleep which tells me I was sitting for awhile.

As I crawled back in bed I glanced over to my husband still snoring not affected by the little tremor of me hitting the floor and wondered how nice it would be to be a dad for a day or night. And all the moms said..... Amen

Well let's move on because this blog has little to do about my bathroom excursion and more about the power of prayer and the willingness not to give up.

Over a week ago my husband did his biggest obstacle course race. If the grueling 14 miles with 33 obstacles in triple digit heat weren't enough, he was getting over a nasty virus and his plantar fasciitis in his foot was acting up. Before the race started , I prayed told him to utilize wisdom and to quit if needed, after all he is the sole provider of our home.

The reality? I knew he wouldn't stop as difficult as it was going to be, because he had his eye on the prize.

"Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!"
1 Corinthians 9:24 NLT

What was his prize? Well he was going to complete his trifecta. This was his third final race to finish a series of runs to become a true spartan for the spartan races. To not run or quit would mean that next year he would need to start all over, running the series of races because they needed to be completed in a calendar year.

The average time for a non elite racer was about five hours, for this particular race this day. This was his goal as well. He took off at 915am and we saw him about half way through , limping down a hill clearly in pain. He was only at the half way mark at about 6 miles. I reminded him it was ok to stop, he gave us a kiss and rimped (running while limping) on his way. By this time the temperature had hit triple digits and it didn't look promising.

However, in my heart I knew quitting wasn't going to be easy for him, when he had his two little guys counting on him to finish.

There was a moment when it was just me and my boys sitting on some hay in the middle of this tent with over a hundred people waiting for daddy. I was prompted to pray. I looked down at my watch and noticed it was 2:15 and realized we were coming up on the fifth hour and he was no where in sight.

So I gathered the boys and told them we needed to pray. I asked the Holy Spirit to intercede on his behalf on what he needed. I remember only two things that I prayed for , super natural strength and miraculous healing on his foot. As I prayed I had a sense that my prayer wasn't just a help him through, but more like a devine intervention to carry him to the finish.

It was about a hour and half later that I saw him coming over to his last few obstacles. He was clearly in a lot of pain and could barely walk let alone run. My heart broke to see him that way, but I rejoiced knowing that in a few short moments he would cross the the finish line. Battered and bruised , barely walking ,but he would finish.

He finished , I walked over and congratulated him. He was in a lot of pain and he apologized that it took longer than he expected. He said I almost gave up, at mile ten I couldn't do it anymore. Then something happened and I was able to just go. I said, oh really , what time was that at? He said at about 2:15.

You know what I love about The Lord? When He does something , He makes it pretty obvious. Jesus told his disciples that He was to go away to prepare a place, but not to worry He would send a helper. That moment in the tent the Helper showed me when to pray and what to pray for. And that helper gave my husband the strength to finish his race.

Take a moment and think about where you are... Are you in the middle of your race about to give up? Or are you praying and interceding , hoping for a miracle? Or perhaps both? I want to tell you NOT to give up. We have no idea when the answer to that prayer is just around the corner.

But it's hard to keep running, it seems like I have been running this same mile for days, years etc. Perhaps, but would you like to start over? A HARD mile completed is better that having to do it again. Don't give up keep you eye on the prize! The finish line is near, you may finished battered and bruised, but it's better than not finishing!

My husbands motivation to finish was us being there waiting cheering him on from the sideline. Similar to what it says in Hebrews 12: 1-2 , I'll leave you with this scripture...

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God"

Many have finished the race, many are praying for you, cheering for you. Whatever is holding you back or down, get rid of it and run. And like Paul has said run to win! AROO!!!!

Run, Walk just don't quit! love you,
Moni

Throwback- Teacher Appreciation Week!

My sons school had Teacher Appreciation Week a few weeks ago. This week is the "official" week and I was sadden to know a few teachers who's principals or parents didn't recognize them for what they do.

I'm grateful that Asher goes to a school where our principal cares about her staff. So in light of the week, I wanted to share a letter I wrote last year to all teachers.. Here is a little throwback blog...

Here is the link http://faithfoodandfitnessforreal.blogspot.com/2014/04/touching-our-world.html?m=1

Have a blessed day!
Mon

Where's the glow?

                       Laguna Family Picture from last weekend.. Sarah Grace is in the tummy (23 weeks)!

                                                      

Its been a minute since I have last blogged, ok longer than a minute. Since I found out I was pregnant I have been in survival mode. Like trying to hold food down, trying to keep balance through the hormone dizzy, still trying to fit in size small maternity pants in denial that those suckers will no where near pull up over my expanding thighs! 

This is pregnancy three for me and boy let me tell you its been a rough ride. The other day I reminded my husband that since thanksgiving, there has not been one good day of pregnancy. I think the longest I have gone is a day or two without throwing up and when I think I turned a little corner the little girl in my tummy is reminding me who will be in charge when she arrives.

Oh did you catch that, Yes it is a girl! Praise God, because after we welcome this little princess, the shop will be closed for good. Yup there will be no more baby making productions going on in this womb of mine. Although I love my children dearly, pregnancy is has not been so blissful unlike those cute pintrest maternity pictures you see!!!

You know what I am going to do some reality pictures, you know the ones with your head in the toilet, or the one were you look like a four year old with wet pants, because you couldn't control your bladder. Or better yet the one in fetal position, because you ate something that created enough acid to create an atomic bomb! Oh, I know the one where my perfectly position swollen hand (because I ate to much salt) is gently up against expanding cheek that is growning more rapidly than my uterus. 

The reality of age, weight gain, gestational diabetes ( although not sure if I have it this time around yet) morning sickness ( that should be renamed all day sickness), dizziness, gas, acid reflux, uncontrollable bladder, panty liners, emergency trips to the pot and crazy hormone moods have me wondering how on earth did I sign up for this again. 

Last night after I went to bed I heard my hubby in the kitchen and poor thing was probably hiding the knives! He may or may not live to see the birth of his little girl, Im just saying.....  The other night I got in fetal position and cried like a baby. Actually not even like a cute baby cry,  but the UGLY cry. OMG have you ever seen a pregnant women ugly cry? It aint pretty probably could be the poster child for a mental health ad.  My husband got on his knees started to pray for me, reminded me that there will be suffering sometimes and ......... I know he was trying to encourage me, but unless he has pushed a watermelon out of a grape size hole out of his body, he has not idea.. Hahah see told you, pray for his safety. 

I started to feel guilty about the way I had been  feeling, because I wasn't enjoying my pregnancy. While I have friends struggling to get pregnant, Im sure they would welcome anything pregnancy would give them. The other day I was in the shower, praying and really calling out to the Lord.  I don't know what it is about the shower, but with water running down my face makes my tears feel more dramatic its like a holy place for me. As the water beads down its like it is washing away the sorrow! 

My thoughts were all over the place, why am I so sick, what happen to what I thought you showed me, and thought after thought.... Then my heart and my mind was still and I heard the Lord say " My Grace is sufficient for your needs"

Cue in ugly cry now........... When I got out of the shower, I was reminded that its ok, not to be ok. Its ok to not find joy in the turmoil, but to find joy in the hope that it is not going to be like this forever. In four months or less, I will be holding my precious girl, and although the days seem long it will be a short time in my life that I did not like being pregnant. 

You don't have to like where God has you. You don't have even be joyful that things are falling apart.. BUT He wants you to know that His grace is enough to keep you afloat. He wants you to know that there is hope, that it isn't going to last forever. 

2nd Corinthians 12:9-10 

" My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest in me. There for I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproach, in needs in persecutions, in distress for Christ sake. For when I am weak then I am strong.

I love this exhortation from Paul. Paul didn't take pleasure in the pain itself, but rejoiced in the power of Christ that revealed. Paul was the real deal, right before that verse he was pleading with the Lord to take away the thorn in his flesh. A commentary said that " he was longing for relief and begging for this painful hindrance he was enduring." Have you ever found yourself in a place of longing or begging the Lord for relief? I know I have and was that day in the shower. 

And you know what its ok. It is ok to be in a place where you are not ok, because that is the place when His grace will meet you and when He is working through you. How can you feel weak with Christ is working through you? You are weak but He is strong. I hope I come to a place where I enjoy being pregnant in my last few months, but I know this for sure, I love this child so much I would not ever wish I wasn't, even in my hardest day. I will love her to the moon and back, and one day I will share how my baby Grace was the strength I need to make it through one more day of vomiting! 

Are you begging or longing? I hope you are encouraged today, that whatever the thorn in your flesh is that you find hope knowing that Christ is working through you.. 

Love you all!!!!

Moni